Government should spend money on railway rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or diasgree with this statement?
Investment in both
of
Change preposition
apply
transportation
and routes is important to all individuals in every country to save time
and effort. Since the transportaion
sector is critical to Correct your spelling
transportation
nation’s
future, some people have argued that the government should invest in Correct article usage
the nation’s
trains
and undergrounds instaed
of establishing new routes and streets. I strongly agree with Correct your spelling
instead
this
view, because it is safe, saves time
and reduce
negative effects on Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
environment
.
Add an article
the environment
First,
setting up new
Correct article usage
a new
railway
offers a very good transportation
experince
for individuals. Correct your spelling
experience
According to
researches
, the number Fix the agreement mistake
research
car
accidents on roads is more than Change preposition
of car
railway
accidents. Furthermore
, trains
are much faster than cars and could
carry many people and goods Wrong verb form
can
also
. Meanwhile, roads can handle only limited
number of cars and buses at the same Correct article usage
a limited
time
. For example
, in Cairo where i
live, the government invest money in Change the capitalization
I
railway
to solve traffic jams , Fix the agreement mistake
railways
reduce
Correct word choice
and reduce
time
wasted and road accidents.
Moreover
, trains
nowdays
use clean energy compared to other Correct the word
nowadays
transportation
means which use fuel and increase climate pollution. Globaly
, climate change is a vital issue which Correct your spelling
Globally
attract
all Change the verb form
attracts
governments
attention. The governments invested a lot of money in Change noun form
government's
governments'
shiftting
to Correct your spelling
shifting
evnveromintal
friendly Correct your spelling
environmentally
transportaion
means like railways which use green energy and limit carbon Correct your spelling
transportation
emission
from cars and buses. Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
For instance
, Egypt recived
a loan from Germany to build a Correct your spelling
received
railway
with strict conditions to limit pollution.
Finally
, i
think governments globally should invest money in Change the capitalization
I
bulding
safe, fast, and green Correct your spelling
building
transportation
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
espically
Correct your spelling
especially
trains
, subways and underground because of it’s
importance to the people.Correct your spelling
their
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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to better guide the reader through the argument. This will help ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next, enhancing the logical flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
While the task is addressed well, some sentences can be made more precise. Focus on crafting concise and clear sentences to express complex ideas, avoiding repetitive expressions to improve readability and understanding.
Language Precision
Revise for spelling and minor grammatical errors (e.g., 'transportaion', 'reseach'). These small edits will improve the overall quality of your writing.
Introduction
The essay effectively introduces the topic and presents a clear position on the issue. This provides a strong foundation for the argument.
Conclusion
The conclusion neatly summarizes the key points discussed and reiterates your stance, which gives the essay a well-rounded ending.
Task Achievement
Relevant examples, such as mentioning Cairo and Egypt’s loan from Germany, are used to support your main points. This adds authenticity and relevance to the argument.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.