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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #countryside #cities #towns #development
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These days, we can see people's lifestyles are so varied from the prior.
For instance
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, a majority of young generations migrate to urban
areas
Use synonyms
 from the suburban regions, so
just
Rephrase
only
show examples
 old inhabitants live in villages. In my opinion, it is a negative happening owing to the fact that they injured both the environment and the governments have to spend a great deal of money on protecting farmlands. On the one hand, when the number of communities who are from the countryside in one city increases, the figure for not only air pollution but
also
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 the sector of the city grows.
In other words
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, people who leave rural regions need residential places;
as a result
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, the number of forest
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 should be altered by accommodations;
additionally
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, these populations have cars;
consequently
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, the number of toxic gases that have a bad affection on weather quality in the town rises.
On the other hand
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, countrysides are the best
areas
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 that have a lot of effect on the country's food;
moreover
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, when only old people spend time in these
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, the agricultural goods are reduced; in fact, authorities for solving
this
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 matter have to send a lot of young populations to rural districts with high incomes, increase the facilities, make their house and so on inasmuch as the old communities cannot farming and do not have yield the same as young populations.
In addition
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, food and its cost are the main issues in the world.
To sum up
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, immigrants from suburban regions to big cities are bad phenomena that have a negative influence on both cities' environments and agricultural industries.
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coherence cohesion
Clarify your main points and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea. This will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your arguments. This will improve the task achievement score by providing evidence for your claims.
coherence cohesion
Avoid lengthy and complicated sentence structures which can hinder clear communication of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Clearly differentiate between reasons and effects to improve the logical structure.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
The topic is addressed directly, and the essay presents clear arguments supported by main points.
coherence cohesion
There is a consistent effort to develop ideas across paragraphs, creating a cohesive piece.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • migration
  • economic opportunities
  • urban areas
  • rural industries
  • cultural heritage
  • overpopulation
  • infrastructure
  • healthcare facilities
  • educational institutions
  • neglect
  • workforce
  • traditional cultures
  • customs
  • pollution
  • support systems
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