International travel is becoming cheaper, and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh this disadvantages.

It is true that departure travel is becoming cheaper, and countries are welcoming more
tourists
. It is my belief that the positive effects of
this
phenomenon certainly outweigh its disadvantages. The disadvantage of
this
development is that more visitors can cause
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
problems because they can
indirect
Change the adjective
indirectly
show examples
destroy nature,
for instance
, the
garbages
Correct subject-verb agreement
garbage
show examples
from consuming products
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
increased.
This
means that
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
destroyed by
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tourists
. Despite
this
, there are significant advantages it can bring to
peaple's
Correct your spelling
people's
lives.
Firstly
, it can increase
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
.
This
is because
tourists
spend money
whlile
Correct your spelling
while
they are travelling.
For example
,
according to
the latest research conducted by Bangkok University, Thailand, it was revealed that 70% of Thailand's economy comes from
tourists
Change the noun form
tourist
show examples
trade.
In addition
to
this
, on a wider
level
Add a comma
level,
show examples
it may
also
benefit there are
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
number of
labors
Replace the word
labourers
show examples
increasing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
because tourism impacts on hiring
staff
Change preposition
of staff
show examples
for
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
. To illustrate
this
, in a recent educational journal, it has been cited that there are many
restuarants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
and hotels announcing for workers. In conclusion, I would like to reiterate that the benefits of increased tourism, in terms of
economy increasing
Replace the word
economic increase
show examples
and hiring rate prevail over the downsides.
However
, it is recommended
tourists
should follow the regulations and maintain
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
willingly.
Submitted by chachiiaom on

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task achievement
Consider expanding your explanations and ideas to make them more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your ideas between paragraphs.
task achievement
Check for spelling and grammatical errors to improve clarity.
task achievement
The essay has a clear stance that is maintained throughout, aligning with the task requirements.
task achievement
You have effectively included specific examples, such as the survey from Bangkok University, to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and encapsulate the argument well, helping to logically structure the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • GDP (Gross Domestic Product)
  • local businesses
  • job creation
  • cultural understanding
  • stereotypes
  • global connections
  • infrastructure
  • public transportation
  • environmental degradation
  • pollution
  • deforestation
  • wildlife habitats
  • commercialization
  • cultural identity
  • overcrowding
  • quality of life
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