International travel is becoming cheaper, and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh this disadvantages.

#travel #countries #doors #tourists #tourism

It is true that departure travel is becoming cheaper, and countries are welcoming more

tourists

. It is my belief that the positive effects of

this

phenomenon certainly outweigh its disadvantages. The disadvantage of

this

development is that more visitors can cause

environment

Replace the word

environmental

show examples

problems because they can

indirect

Change the adjective

indirectly

show examples

destroy nature,

for instance

, the

garbages

Correct subject-verb agreement

garbage

show examples

from consuming products

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

increased.

This

means that

environment

Correct article usage

the environment

show examples

are

Change the verb form

show examples

destroyed by

over

Change preposition

apply

show examples

tourists

. Despite

this

, there are significant advantages it can bring to

peaple's

Correct your spelling

people's

lives.

Firstly

, it can increase

economy

Correct article usage

the economy

show examples

This

is because

tourists

spend money

whlile

Correct your spelling

while

they are travelling.

For example

according to

the latest research conducted by Bangkok University, Thailand, it was revealed that 70% of Thailand's economy comes from

tourists

Change the noun form

tourist

show examples

trade.

In addition

this

, on a wider

level

Add a comma

level,

show examples

it may

also

benefit there are

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

number of

labors

Replace the word

labourers

show examples

increasing

Verb problem

apply

show examples

because tourism impacts on hiring

staff

Change preposition

of staff

show examples

for

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

. To illustrate

this

, in a recent educational journal, it has been cited that there are many

restuarants

Correct your spelling

restaurants

and hotels announcing for workers. In conclusion, I would like to reiterate that the benefits of increased tourism, in terms of

economy increasing

Replace the word

economic increase

show examples

and hiring rate prevail over the downsides.

However

, it is recommended

tourists

should follow the regulations and maintain

environment

Correct article usage

the environment

show examples

willingly.

Submitted by chachiiaom on Sun Oct 13 2024

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task achievement

Consider expanding your explanations and ideas to make them more comprehensive.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical flow of your ideas between paragraphs.

task achievement

Check for spelling and grammatical errors to improve clarity.

task achievement

The essay has a clear stance that is maintained throughout, aligning with the task requirements.

task achievement

You have effectively included specific examples, such as the survey from Bangkok University, to support your points.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and encapsulate the argument well, helping to logically structure the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

205 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

GDP (Gross Domestic Product)
local businesses
job creation
cultural understanding
stereotypes
global connections
infrastructure
public transportation
environmental degradation
pollution
deforestation
wildlife habitats
commercialization
cultural identity
overcrowding
quality of life

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International travel is becoming cheaper, and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh this disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries have severe problems with students behavior. what do you this are the cause of this? what solution can you suggest?

These days many kids spend a lot of their time playing computer games instead of doing sports. What is the cause of this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?