Childood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsilbility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statement?

#childood #obesity #australia #two #thirds #children #schools #responsilbility #students #amount #exercise

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The increasing number of offspring are gaining

weight

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as two

third

Correct your spelling

thirds

show examples

of Australian

children

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face

this

Linking Words

problem. I totally agree that

children

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diet

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should be controlled by

school

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staff and

schools

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are responsible for making

children

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active because

schools

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are able to force

students

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to bring their either daily or weekly diets and set some scores for those who have a balanced

diet

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and some

exercise

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classes

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can be held to improve their amount of active time. As

schools

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are likely to be

students

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' second homes

schools

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should be responsible for

children

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obesity

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. Encouraging

children

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to eat healthy food can be done by teachers by making a competitive area among classmates, leading them to be motivated and keep up a healthy lifestyle. Many offspring cannot be persuaded why they need to avoid

obesity

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schools

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can provide

students

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with some

classes

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about

overall

Linking Words

health and how a normal

weight

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is important.

For example

Linking Words

, in Iranian

schools

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students

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have

this

Linking Words

chance to take part in health

classes

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held by some related teacher in these

classes

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children

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are usually asked to bring their weekly

diet

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and the most balanced

diet

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gets a positive mark.

Thus

Linking Words

, engaging

students

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facing

obesity

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in a competitive area and setting a price for them can keep them motivated and help them

Verb problem

apply

show examples

achieve a normal

weight

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or avoid getting fat. Having yards or special gyms makes

schools

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responsible for monitoring how active their

students

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are.

Although

Linking Words

parents are usually considered to be the responsible ones for monitoring offspring's

exercise

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students

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spend most of their time at

school

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so they cannot find enough time to work out after

school

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. Since

schools

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have

this

Linking Words

opportunity to provide an appropriate atmosphere to force

children

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to do

exercise

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as homework or lessons

students

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take it more seriously and try harder in

this

Linking Words

case.

Students

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schools

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can participate in

school

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matches and tutors can monitor them in

this

Linking Words

way.

Therefore

Linking Words

schools

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can control

students

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' activities via competitions and some homework for

exercise

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. In conclusion,

Obesity

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is a common problem among all

children

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as a significant number of Australian

children

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face it.

Schools

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can play a considerable role in controlling

students

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weight

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because they can check their

diet

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and make sense of competition among

children

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to keep them motivated and

also

Linking Words

schools

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can make them

workout

Correct your spelling

work out

show examples

at homework and hold some sports matches.

Submitted by ghorabibita on Sun Oct 13 2024

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Coherence

Organize paragraphs with clear topic sentences to enhance clarity.

Coherence

Clarify the introduction for a sharp presentation of your standpoint.

Task Response

Maintain focus on the main argument throughout the essay for a stronger impact.

Task Response

Effectively uses specific examples such as the Iranian school system to support arguments.

Coherence

The essay’s conclusion successfully summarizes the writer’s perspectives and proposed actions.

Coherence

Provides a structured argument with logical reasoning, supporting the central stance.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
9
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

390 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

monitor
responsibility
nutrition
physical activities
primary responsibility
complement
mandatory
limiting
availability
junk food
canteens
collaborative efforts
comprehensive approach
limitations

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Childood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsilbility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statement?

Word Count

For some people learning in a group is the most effective way. While others prefer one-on-one instruction. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some people think that students benefit greatly from going to private secondary schools, but others assert that private secondary schools have a negative impact on the young generation and the society alike. Discuss both views.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might be this is the case? Do you think this is a psitive or negative situation?

Some people say that individuals do no protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.