Some think spending a lot on birthday celebrations and weddings is a waste of money. Others think it is important for young people and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion."

Some
people
believe that spending a lot of money and weddings is a waste,
while
others argue that
such
celebrations
are important for individuals and society.
While
some claim
led
Correct pronoun usage
that led
show examples
to financial waste, others suggest that they foster connections and allow
people
to celebrate special moments.
This
essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think these events hold significant value. On the one hand, extravagant events can be seen as a waste of money. First and foremost, spending heavily on
parties
often leads
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
substantial expense for food, decoration, and entertainment, all just for one night.
This
can result in financial burdens and even debt for many individuals.
Additionally
, excessive spending on
celebrations
can divert funds away from saving for essential future needs
such
as education or home purchases.
As a result
, many argue that it is more prudent to spend less on
parties
, which can help young
people
prepare for their future.
On the other hand
,
celebrations
play
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
role in helping
people
feel accomplished and fostering social connections. Events like birthdays and
wedding
Fix the agreement mistake
weddings
show examples
mark significant
milestone
Fix the agreement mistake
milestones
show examples
in
people
's lives, allowing them to feel proud and connected to their loved ones.
For instance
, a wedding brings together family and friends, strengthening their bonds and creating lasting memories.
Furthermore
, these gatherings provide
sense
Add an article
a sense
show examples
of value and support, which positively impacts
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
mental health and relationships.
Consequently
, many believe that the emotional benefits of
such
parties
justify the expenses involved. In conclusion, both views present valid reasons for consideration.
While
it is true that lavish
parties
can strain finances, they
allow
Verb problem
apply
show examples
offer essential social benefits.
Although
we should be mindful of our spending, I firmly believe that the positive effects of these
celebrations
far outweigh the negatives.
Submitted by anggiagni on

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Relevant Examples
Provide more specific examples to illustrate the points, particularly when discussing financial burdens or the emotional benefits of celebrations. This will strengthen the essay's argument and make it more persuasive.
Grammar Accuracy
Ensure grammatical accuracy, such as 'spending a lot of money on weddings' instead of 'spending a lot of money and weddings'. This will improve clarity and professionalism.
Complete Response
The essay effectively presents both perspectives on the topic, which reflects a complete response to the task.
Introduction and Conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively summarize the main arguments, providing a clear framework for the discussion.
Logical Structure
The essay demonstrates a logical structure, guiding the reader smoothly from one point to the next.

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