IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The pie chart illustrates the information about the changes in the
population
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of two countries, Italy and Yemen, in 2000 and 2025. It
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 depicts the three groups of ages and
increase
Change the verb form
increases

It appears that the subject pronoun It and the verb increase are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

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 and
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases

It seems that the verb decrease does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 in their percentages as well. Moving to the Yamen, 46.3% of
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

population
Add an article
the population

The noun phrase population seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 was comprised
by
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 the age group of 15-59 in 2000, which will extend to 57.3% by the end of 2025.The other group of 0-14
years
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, was about 50.1% in 2000, but soon it will decrease to 37.0% in 2025.
Whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, 60+
years
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 people, were 3.6% in 2000, but it will climb to 5.7% in 2025. As far as Italy is concerned, 61.6% of
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population

The noun phrase population seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
 was occupied by 15-59
years
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of residents in 2002. The country is trying to control its
population
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 and soon it will shrink to 46.2% in
Correct article usage
the comming
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Correct article usage
the comming

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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comming
Correct your spelling
coming
years
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Even
age
Correct article usage
the age

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 group of 0-14 will
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 go down to 11.5% in 2025, which was 14.3%
in
Change the preposition
at

The preposition in may be incorrect. Consider changing it to a different preposition.

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 the beginning of 2000.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, 60+
years
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 will rise to 42.3%, which was 24.1% in 2000.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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