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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about the ratio of income to spending (in dollars) by Americans by age range in 2013. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below gives information about the ratio of income to spending (in dollars) by Americans by age range in 2013. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
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The diagram describes how much money was spent and earned in every
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 in the United States in 2013. In overview, every
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 of people's earnings were more than spending on average except for those who were under 25 and over 75. People aged from 35 to 54 made the most profit than any other
group
Use synonyms
 and the number was almost the same as 80000.
Moreover
Linking Words
, their expenditure to earnings had differences by probably 20000 dollars, which
similarly
Linking Words
 belonged to considerably a big figure compared to other surplus of various
age
Use synonyms
 ranges. Following that, 55-64-year-old Americans had nearly 75000 income, their expenses were about 55000, and the revenue was roughly 20000.
Therefore
Linking Words
, middle-aged bodies (35-54, and 45-54) and a 55-64
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 economized more income than others.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the youngest
group
Use synonyms
 held the lowest means with at most 29000 dollars in income and 30000 in expenditure, so the outcome was they lost money.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the elderly (plus 75) earned the equivalent profit as they consumed.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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