The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.
The two line graphs
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
the enrolments of
students
in Australian
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
, broken down into two groups: foreign
students
and local
students
, over a
ten year
Add a hyphen
ten-year
show examples
period from 2001 to 2010.
Overall
, it can be clearly observed that
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
of international
students
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
fewer
Correct word choice
lower
show examples
,
whereas
that of
locals
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
larger
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
during the first 7 years.
However
, it is interesting to note that trends were shifted in the latter three years.
To begin
with, in 2001, a closer look at line graphs from local
students
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
that Australian
students
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
doubled that of
oversea
Fix the agreement mistake
overseas
show examples
lecturers at 400,000
students
. Surprisingly, the number of non-
locals
rose at a constant rate unlike that of
locals
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
grew exponentially
reached
Correct word choice
and reached
show examples
the same figures in 2006 at 600,000
students
. In terms of commencing-wise, it is noticeable that foreign graduates were slightly lower compared with the
locals
. From 2007 onwards, the trend shifted where the number of
students
from abroad
overtaken
Wrong verb form
overtook
show examples
the
locals
before reaching its peak at 800,000
students
in 2010
as well as
that of those who
graduates
Wrong verb form
graduated
show examples
at 400,000
students
.
Similarly
, both the total number of
locals
Change the noun form
local
show examples
students
and those who will graduate
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
remained stable
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
2007
till
Change preposition
to
show examples
2010 at the same figures.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, locals with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: