IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

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While
Linking Words
 it is widely debated that hosting
an international
Correct the article-noun agreement
an international sport event
international sport events
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
events
Use synonyms
 could bring tremendous benefits for the nations, others argue that it is bad for the locals as it
offer
Change the verb form
offers
show examples
 opportunities to convict
a crimes
Correct the article-noun agreement
crimes
a crime
show examples
. Both
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
 and
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 why I support the former claim seeing that it promotes
tourisms
Fix the agreement mistake
tourism
show examples
 and
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
show examples
 jobs for the locals will be discussed
further
Linking Words
 in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
To begin
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 with, it may seem sensible for some to believe that
held
Wrong verb form
holding
show examples
 up
an international sport
Correct the article-noun agreement
international sport events
an international sport event
show examples
events
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as the Olympics could immensely improve the development of
that nations
Change the determiner
that nation
those nations
show examples
, especially
infrastructures
Use synonyms
. To simply explain, when hosting
such
Linking Words
 global
events
Use synonyms
, it attracts visitors worldwide
will
Correct pronoun usage
who will
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 travel to
Correct article usage
the host's
show examples
host's
Change noun form
host
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 nation. In
this
Linking Words
 sense, the government must represent their countries with good images resulting in allocating their expenditures
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 improving better quality of
infrastructures
Use synonyms
 in order to fascinate the
eye's
Change the noun form
eyes
eye
show examples
 of the global sight. Take Korea,
for example
Linking Words
; prior to
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
 games, there were neither large stadiums nor good
infrastructures
Use synonyms
. After being the host, the fast development and
constructions
Fix the agreement mistake
construction
show examples
converting
Wrong verb form
converted
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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old-fashion
Correct your spelling
old-fashioned
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korea
Change the capitalization
Korea
show examples
 into a
westernized
Capitalize word
Westernized
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 and modern town.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many opponents of
this
Linking Words
 idea might
opposed
Verb problem
think
show examples
 that sometimes
this
Linking Words
 event can attract people with bad intentions to commit a crime. It
is often report
Change the verb form
is often reported
show examples
 that during large
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
 the rate of pick-pocket
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 on the rise as they
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 the advantage of cheerful crowds to do so.
While
Linking Words
 people enjoy the match
that
Correct word choice
but
show examples
 sometimes
forget
Change the verb form
forgets
show examples
 about their valuables, these can be easily targeted by
theives
Correct your spelling
thieves
. From my perspective, I personally agree that being a host of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 crucial
events
Use synonyms
 can benefit the countries
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 tourism.
As loads
Correct word choice
Loads
show examples
 of visitor will travel across the globe to cheer for their nation. In summary,
although
Linking Words
 it is undeniable that hosting
a global
Correct the article-noun agreement
global events
a global event
show examples
events
Use synonyms
 like
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 competitions can bring positive outcomes for the country
such
Linking Words
 as the improvement of
infrastructures
Use synonyms
, possible threats like thieves should not be neglected.
Hence
Linking Words
, I am of the opinion that their advantages
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the aforementioned detrimental effects, provided that measures.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to avoid confusing sentences.
Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly and directly address all parts of the essay prompt.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion by presenting both sides of the argument on hosting international sports events.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the main points that will be discussed, providing a clear roadmap for the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic boost
  • infrastructure
  • national pride
  • cultural showcase
  • inspire a generation
  • temporary boost
  • environmental concerns
  • sustainable planning
  • public funds
  • divert resources
  • tourism influx
  • job opportunities
  • sports development
  • public health
  • construction
  • strategic investment
  • global audience
  • hospitality
  • public services
  • cost-benefit analysis
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