IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

These days, poverty has become a serious issue around the world. What are the problems that can occur because of this issue and suggest some solutions to overcome this problem.

#poverty #world
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At present, many individuals suffer from poverty in many countries.
As a result
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, they will have
health
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 issues and the crime rate will increase, but
this
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 can be solved by providing free healthcare and having more job opportunities. One problem that can be noted is that society will suffer from
health
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 problems.
In other words
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,
people
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 who have
strugle
Correct your spelling
struggle
struggled
 financially often do not have enough money to go to hospitals to get medical treatment whenever they are sick.
In addition
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, they tend to eat anything they find since they cannot buy good food which clearly can cause a lot of
health
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 issues,
such
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 as stomach aches or feeling very weak all the time. Another dilemma is that
people
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 would do anything to get what they need.
For instance
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,
instead
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 of struggling at home, they would steal from shops and do other illegal things to earn easy money. One solution to solve the predicament is to make free
health
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 care.
This
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 can be done by organizing charity events.
That is
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 to say, rich
people
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 can donate some money to some organizations which can help the poor to get free medical treatment. Another measure that can be taken is that the government should provide more job opportunities to their citizens. They can open more companies and factories, and
therefore
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, more
people
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 will be hired.
This
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 will help them earn a regular salary which can help them in the long run.
To sum up
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, poverty can lead to
health
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 issues and a higher crime rate, yet by having free
health
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 care and more job opportunities, these problems can be tackled easily.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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task achievement
To further enhance task achievement, try to elaborate more on each point with specific details or examples. Consider expanding on how organized charitable health campaigns can impact communities, for example.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining the logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph flows easily into the next. Transitional words and phrases can help in making the essay more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, neatly framing the problem and proposed solutions.
task achievement
The suggested solutions, such as free healthcare and job opportunities, are relevant and apt to the issue of poverty.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty line
  • socioeconomic status
  • basic needs
  • underprivileged
  • economic disparity
  • access to resources
  • vulnerable populations
  • income inequality
  • social safety nets
  • sustainable development
  • infrastructure development
  • holistic approach
  • capacity building
  • economic empowerment
  • vocational training
  • microcredit
  • community development
  • humanitarian aid
  • food insecurity
  • public welfare programs
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