IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Plastic shopping bags are used widely and cause many environmental problems. Some people say they should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#plastic #bags #people
Nowadays an enormous number of people from all over the world use
plastic
 shopping
bags
 in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. At the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 there are opponents of
plastic
bags
 usage because of their detrimental impact on the
environment
. I totally agree with the point of view that
plastic
 shopping
bags
 should be forbidden.
Firstly
,
plastic
 decomposition is a very
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
 process, which takes millions of years before a tiny
plastic
 item completely decays.
Moreover
, during
this
process
Add a comma
process,
show examples
 many harmful substances
release
Wrong verb form
are released
show examples
 and poison the soil or water. That in turn leads to
extinction
Add an article
the extinction
show examples
 of animal and plant species or to their mutations, influencing people's health in the end.
For instance
, eating food cultivated in the
plastic
 polluted
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 may cause serious diseases like cancer.
Secondly
, not only the
plastic
 decomposition destructively
affects
Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
show examples
 the
environment
, but
also
plastic
bags
 itself. Some animals confuse these
bags
 with something esculent and
then
 die suffering from terrible pain. Marine turtles,
for example
, die of suffocation caused by wrapping
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plastic
bag
Fix the agreement mistake
bags
show examples
 around
the
Change the word
their
show examples
neck
Fix the agreement mistake
necks
show examples
.
In addition
, taking into consideration that an immense number of people use
plastic
 shopping
bags
 once and
then
 just throw them away in the
environment
, the consequences of
this
 are extensive. The bottom line is that
plastic
bags
 pollute the
environment
 and cause wild animal extinction. In my opinion, they must be banned in order to protect the Earth and its living beings.
In addition
, measures should be taken to
straggle
Correct your spelling
strangle
show examples
 people’s neglect of nature.
Submitted by SvetlanaDinara on

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task achievement
To achieve a more comprehensive response, consider including a counterargument to demonstrate the broader perspective on this topic.
coherence and cohesion
For improved coherence, ensure smooth transitions between some arguments and explanations. This can help in maintaining the flow of ideas.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and strong position on banning plastic bags, consistent throughout with logical reasoning.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, offering a clear stance and effectively summarizing the main points.
task achievement
The essay effectively uses specific examples, such as the impact on marine life, which strengthens the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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