IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the average price per kilo of clothing imported into the European Union from seven major countries of origin in 1997 and 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The chart below shows the average price per kilo of clothing imported into the European Union from seven major countries of origin in 1997 and 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#price #kilo #european #union #seven #countries #origin #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The chart illustrates the
averge
Correct your spelling
average
 cost for each kilo of clothing exported to the European Union from 7 countries of origin ( Argentina, Brazil,
Japan
Use synonyms
,
China
Use synonyms
, India, and Bangladesh) in 1993 and 2003.
overall
Linking Words
, it is
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
notable
 that half of the nations which are, Argentina, Brazil, and
Japan
Use synonyms
, had either higher or the same percentage cost of clothes
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1993.
While
Linking Words
,
China
Use synonyms
, India, and Bangladesh had a lower share of prices compared to 2003.
First,
Linking Words
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1993 Argentina reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 28
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of cost, but increased to just above 25.
Japan
Use synonyms
Linking Words
on
Add the comma(s)
, on
show examples
 the other hand, remained the same in both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
years staying at approximately 23
ratio
Change to a plural noun
ratios
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
Japan
Use synonyms
 started
it`s
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 duration at the share of 15, after that had a slight drop and reached just around 13.
Second,
Linking Words
China
Use synonyms
begin
Wrong verb form
began
show examples
 the period at
10
Correct article usage
a 10
show examples
 ratio of price,
Linking Words
subsequently
Correct pronoun usage
which subsequently
show examples
 increased significantly to just above 15. Similar to
China
Use synonyms
, India went from
nearly
Correct article usage
a nearly
show examples
 6
ratio
Change to a plural noun
ratios
show examples
 to
Correct article usage
a rougly
show examples
rougly
Correct your spelling
roughly
 12 proportion.
however
Linking Words
, Bangladesh, which had the lowest proportion of all countries went from nearly 3
fraction
Change to a plural noun
fractions
show examples
 to just above 5 by the end
f
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the span.
Submitted by miss batool on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, china with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: