IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that the environmental impacts of air transport outweigh its benefits in food importation. To what extent do you agree? Provide reasons for your answer and include relevant examples.

#people #impacts #air #transport #food #importation
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A considerable number of people think
Correct article usage
the incresed
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incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
 use of air transport to import fruits and
vegetables
 from one nation to another where habitation is not good to grow
such
 vegetation is a good option
while
 others opine that it is a bad idea.
According to
 me, it is a good idea to import
vegetables
 to other countries will provide global
trade
 their people have the excess nutrition that they need but it has a bad impact on local marketing and the environment. The main benefit of using
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
show examples
 to move fruit and
vegetables
 enables countries to engage in global
trade
. From
consumer's
Correct article usage
the consumer's
show examples
 perspective, they have a variety of
foods
 that provide nutrition for their healthy diet.
For example
, Some countries like Jamaica or India can not grow a variety of
foods
 like avocado and dragon fruit because these fruits need proper soil and weather.
Avocado
Fix the agreement mistake
Avocados
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 good sources of food for a healthy body and it is possible to transport these
foods
 to their country and provide everyone with nutritious
foods
 by aircraft. Aeroplane is a fast mode of Transportation to move things from here to there rapidly.
On the other hand
, Aeroplane significantly contributes to carbon emissions, which are dangerous for the environment. It contributes to Global Warming and economic impact.
However
, it may have a negative effect on local farmer communities as it may suppress market prices.
Due to
gobal
Correct your spelling
global
warming
Add a comma
warming,
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 our
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
 and the earth
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 in Danger. Local farmers are reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
big markets to get
batter
Correct your spelling
better
show examples
oppertunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 for their vegetation. Some of them leave their houses to get
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
 job in
other field
Change the wording
another field
other fields
show examples
.In conclusion,
while
 air transport provides a fast and effective way to import fruits and
vegetables
, benefiting global
trade
 and consumer nutrition, it
also
 poses significant environmental challenges and impacts local farmers. To foster a sustainable approach, governments should work to ensure fair prices for local produce
while
 promoting environmentally friendly practices in global
trade
.
Submitted by jasneets712 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific details in your examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, include data or specific instances where air transport has significantly contributed to global trade or environmental issues.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repeating ideas and phrases. For example, instead of mentioning the benefits of avocado in two different parts, elaborate on one instance thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frames the argument effectively.
task achievement
The candidate provides a balanced view by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of air transport for food importation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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