IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that newsapers are the best media to learn and get information from while others believe that the internet is a better source. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are different views regarding which
media
Use synonyms
 is the better
one
Use synonyms
 to help in collecting and internalising the data. Citizens are
devided
Correct your spelling
divided
 into two types, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 using
newspapers
Use synonyms
 or
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
. Personally, I argue that any tools are beneficial but the most important is the habit
that is
Linking Words
 being constructed in
this
Linking Words
 process.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
newspapers
Use synonyms
 can be seen as the most helpful ones because it is a physical type of
media
Use synonyms
 that can
fostering
Change the verb form
foster
be fostering
show examples
 someone's study routine and
permitting
Wrong verb form
permit
show examples
 them
learning
Change the verb form
to learn
show examples
 effectively by taking notes at the same
time
Use synonyms
.
Newspapers
Use synonyms
 can push someone because
newspapers
Use synonyms
 arrive at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 specific
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each day and continue to support the next step in their
to do
Add a hyphen
to-do
show examples
 list. In
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
, it can aid humankind's consistency and give better long-term memorization.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
newspapers
Use synonyms
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 them able to implement good
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to intercept by taking notes. Joint down the data is
one
Use synonyms
 of the steps in active learning.
For instance
Linking Words
,
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
 who
receive
Change the verb form
receives
show examples
newspapers
Use synonyms
 every 6 a.m can start their activities by internalising the
information
Use synonyms
 at the exact
time
Use synonyms
,
write
Wrong verb form
writing
show examples
 the important points,
subsuquently
Correct your spelling
subsequently
subsequent
recall
Wrong verb form
recalling
show examples
, and ultimately the
information
Use synonyms
stay
Change the verb form
stays
show examples
 until she becomes
adult
Correct article usage
an adult
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, individuals believe
Use synonyms
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 is a better choice.
This
Linking Words
 group often emphasize that
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 gives
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 unlimited vast resources and flexibility when getting
information
Use synonyms
 and learning. People can get from different sites and can search
undifinite
Correct your spelling
indefinite
 topics. Individuals
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
 to learn different topics
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
one
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
are sometimes have
Change the verb form
sometimes have
show examples
this
Linking Words
 perspective.
Internet
Use synonyms
 is preferred because it can
also
Linking Words
personalized
Change the verb form
personalize
show examples
 the condition and the end doing the task effectively. Effectivity can be achieved because different humankind
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 their own environment and
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
 of accepting
information
Use synonyms
 to get the best outcome.
For example
Linking Words
, someone with
Correct article usage
a kinestethic
show examples
kinestethic
Correct your spelling
kinesthetic
 way
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 studying can fully receive
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of
information
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
virtual
Change the word
virtually
show examples
 by
engaged
Wrong verb form
engaging
show examples
 physically. In conclusion, there are two groups regarding which
media
Use synonyms
 is the most useful for them. These
media
Use synonyms
 are
newspapers
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, I argue that the choice between the two
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 based
each
Change preposition
on each
show examples
 humankind.
The both
Remove the article
Both
show examples
 sides bring merits regarding accepting
information
Use synonyms
. In my perspective, the most important thing is the constant implementation of the habit from day to day to
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
hinder short-
time
Use synonyms
 visibility. The combination of both
media
Use synonyms
 or just
either
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
one
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not a huge problem.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Improvement on Task Response
Make sure to clarify the main argument in the introduction more clearly. It's important for the reader to understand where the essay is heading from the beginning.
Improvement on Coherence and Cohesion
Try to work on grammatical accuracy and usage. There are several minor errors that can be improved to enhance clarity and professionalism, like "devided" instead of "divided."
Improvement on Task Response
Strive to balance the discussion on both views slightly more evenly, focusing also on counterarguments, to enrich the critical analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion
You’ve effectively utilized an introduction and conclusion, clearly structuring the essay and giving a good overview and summary of the discussion.
Task Achievement
The essay contains relevant examples that support the points being made about newspapers and the internet.
Task Achievement
You have successfully discussed both views as per the task requirement, providing a balanced outlook before presenting your own opinion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: