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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In a number of nations, practical courses are being prioritized over graduating from
college
Use synonyms
 by many youths. In my opinion, going to
college
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 is more advantageous as
this
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 path will be more career-focused and exclusive than training which is insufficient to cover the whole subject.
To begin
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 with, lessons on campuses are designed with syllabi, which are appropriate to understand the core content. The
college
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 courses might be lengthy and expensive but they are reasonable sources of knowledge.
For instance
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, professors in the university plan a specific assignment and give out a fixed period within which students must submit their work.
This
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 will encourage the students to immerse themselves in the subject matter theoretically and practically.
On the other hand
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, people who are training can only have practical knowledge
while
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 their understanding of theory can be very limited.
Although
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 the workers will have outstanding work experience, their academic qualifications will always fall short.
As a result
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, the wages or salary will not be on par with the training they have dedicated their time on, in the long run. To illustrate
this
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, high-school graduates often opt for training rather than going to
college
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.
Further
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 in their life, they get burnt out with a minimum wage and no alternate options to turn to. In conclusion, going to
college
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 and graduating may take quite a
while
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, which will entice young people to choose training based on work, but it is a fruitful choice that will make a person capable of handling their job more professionally. That extent of professionalism cannot come from just training.

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task achievement
Expand on the examples given, providing more specific examples that relate directly to the advantages and disadvantages discussed.
task achievement
Try to enhance some of your ideas further to make the response even clearer and more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the supporting points are fully developed with more examples and insights. This will strengthen the task response and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting a logical flow of arguments.
task achievement
There is a clear and complete response to the task with appropriate reasoning.
coherence cohesion
A generally cohesive piece of writing, making it easy to follow the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
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