Some prents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Busy
Correct article usage
The busy
show examples
life styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
show examples
of
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of the global population
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
become a reason for
parents
to keep their
children
entertained by providing them with their desired
toys
.
This
essay brings up possible pros and cons of
children
owning large
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
of
toys
. Since industrialization and urbanization, people
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
facing
Wrong verb form
faced
show examples
major changes in their living patterns. Mainly,
work-life-imbalance
Correct your spelling
work-life imbalance
show examples
, unhealthy relationships with family members and stress can be pin
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
.
Therefore
,
parents
in
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
world are trying different approaches to keep their
children
engaged in any activity they like, to be free from
children
's
stubornness
Correct your spelling
stubbornness
and vacate more
time
for their professional life. Another reason for letting
children
have lots of
toys
could be that modernized
parents
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
higher income levels and different thinking
pattern
Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
show examples
. On one hand, providing
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of
toys
can be beneficial for
children
's development because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
there is a high probability for the
children
to improve new skills
such
as analytical thinking and pattern recognition by handling
toys
like
puzzels
Correct your spelling
puzzles
show examples
and building blocks. Not only that but
also
,
parents
will be benefited by letting
children
occupied with an activity that they prefer.
Thus
,
this
will create some personal space
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
parents
to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quality
time
with their partners without spending
time
with
children
every
Correct determiner usage
all the
show examples
time
.
On the other hand
, there are many disadvantages associated with
this
scenario. Some of them are,
children
can be alone with
toys
in their childhood
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
will cause some serious mental health conditions like anthropophobia (fear of people), disrespect towards adults especially towards
parents
when
children
growup
Correct your spelling
grow up
, emotional anxiety, expecting more than sufficient from
parents
and childhood obesity
due to
engaging in lack of physical activities like playing in the garden or playground etc. These conditions will
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
to serious hinder personality
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
in future. In conclusion, it is important to have a proper balance of how many
toys
should be purchased by the
parents
for
children
.
Thus
, the negative effects of having
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of
toys
can be at least reduced
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
, it is hard to eliminate.
Submitted by samadhi22ch on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Improve the introduction by clearly stating the purpose of the essay and briefly outlining the main points that will be discussed.
logical structure
Enhance the logical structure by clearly separating points about advantages and disadvantages, with distinct paragraphs or sections for each.
relevant specific examples
Strengthen task achievement by providing more specific examples to support the points made about the advantages and disadvantages of having many toys.
complete response
The essay presents a clear response to the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of children having many toys.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay covers a range of ideas related to the topic, such as impacts on children's development and parental benefits.
task achievement
Some understanding of the topic is demonstrated through the exploration of modern parenting and work-life balance influences.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • creativity
  • stimulate
  • imagination
  • creative play
  • motor skills
  • problem-solving
  • independent play
  • self-sufficient
  • overwhelm
  • deep engagement
  • appreciation
  • value
  • scarcity
  • social interaction
  • social development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: