In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

People
have different opinions on pupils
Correct pronoun usage
who desided
show examples
desided
Correct your spelling
decide
to
work
or
travel
for a
year
between finishing high school and starting university studies. In
this
essay, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
dicision
Correct your spelling
decision
division
. For the
adventages
Correct your spelling
advantage
side, young
people
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
work
or
travel
first
instead
of
get
Change the form of the verb
getting
show examples
into
college
is they will have more
experience
or financial support
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
,
for example
, young
people
who chosen
work
for
year
Add an article
a year
the year
show examples
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
not only
earned
Wrong verb form
earn
show examples
the tuition fee which is
college
need to charge, but
also
have more
experience
of searching the hobbit of
life
, through to the
job
, it can
learned
Change the verb form
learn
show examples
life
skills and
job
skills, meanwhile, can help to decide the
college
major which is the interest for,
On the other hand
, chose to
travel
can
experience
which country
is prefer
Change the verb form
prefers
show examples
to live, and what the
life
stly
Correct your spelling
style
is it
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because the
college
does not require to stay at hometown, it can be anywhere in the earth,
thus
the
reaason
Correct your spelling
reason
, during the
travel
can experient the local
life
and the
job
market. The
gap
year
is helpful to make a
life
desicion
Correct your spelling
decision
. For the
disadventages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
disadvantaged
side, those
people
chose
Correct pronoun usage
who chose
show examples
gap
Correct article usage
a gap
show examples
year
will need to delay
the
Change the word
their
show examples
bachelor's degree one more
year
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
less competitiveness in
Add an article
the enter
show examples
enter
Replace the word
entering
show examples
job
Correct article usage
the job
show examples
market, and seeing the same age friend already being a good
workfore
Correct your spelling
workforce
for society is
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
stress
Replace the word
stressful
show examples
, it is very hard to no
compective
Correct your spelling
competitive
with friends or classmates,
Moreover
,
ealderly
Correct your spelling
elderly
seems the
gap
year
experience
like a relax of
life
, it is waste of time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and
meanfulness
Correct your spelling
mindfulness
meaningfulness
. The society
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
show examples
to
seems
Verb problem
see
show examples
gap
year
is a
ran away
Correct your spelling
runaway
show examples
dision
Correct your spelling
decision
of live duty, during the interview of
college
, they will
noticed
Change the verb form
notice
show examples
the
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
between the student who does not
choice
Correct your spelling
choose to
show examples
have a
gap
year
, and the interviewer will
hopes
Change the verb form
hope
show examples
that there is a reasonable reason for the
gap
year
.
Overall
,
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
or
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
for a
year
between finishing high school and starting university studies has both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
of advantages and disadvantages,
that is
no
currect
Correct your spelling
correct
current
answer
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
it, chose one that
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
not regret, and enjoy it.
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Improvement
Improve grammatical accuracy to enhance clarity of ideas.
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Refine the introduction to clearly outline the main ideas that will be discussed.
Improvement
Use more varied vocabulary to better convey your points.
Improvement
Consider adding more specific and detailed examples to support your arguments.
Content
The essay presents a balanced view, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year.
Structure
Conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main points.
Content
Attempts to provide reasoning and examples for points made.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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