Some people believe that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of a bad person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Crime rates
of
the countries Change preposition
in
show
a significant rise over the past few years Wrong verb form
have shown
due to
several reasons. Some argue that criminal Change preposition
for
activities
are a result of socital
issues and neediness, Correct your spelling
societal
social
while
others argue that innappropriate
individual behaviors cause crimes. In my Correct your spelling
inappropriate
opinion
it is clear to address both the reasons importantly.
Crimes or offences can be Add a comma
opinion,
catergorized
Correct your spelling
categorised
in
different aspects Change preposition
into
such
as illegal activities
, murders and smuggling etc.. those which cause a
danger or any damage to individuals, personal properties and Remove the article
apply
the
society. Correct article usage
apply
Socital
issues associated with Correct your spelling
Social
Add an article
the economy
economy
Change the noun form
economies
such
as financial instability of the country, depreciation of money value, imposition of higher taxes, political instability and lower per capita income can lead to poverty and economic decline in long
term. Add an article
the long
As a result
, people
will be encouraged to conduct illegal activities
like theft and mruders
because of Correct your spelling
murders
murder
Correct article usage
the stressfull
stressfull
lives they live. Eventually, Correct your spelling
stressful
these kind
of negative Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
activities
will lead the country towards a security risk.
On the other hand
, behavioral
patterns and some adverse Change the spelling
behavioural
habbits
can Correct your spelling
habits
also
convert people
to a
Correct article usage
apply
criminal
. Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
For
example
there Add a comma
example,
are
proven Correct subject-verb agreement
is
evidences
that Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
drug addicted
individuals tend to theft from others when they run out of money to buy drugs and Add a hyphen
drug-addicted
people
who associate thugs and people
who are connected to under-world
will eventually convert Correct article usage
the under-world
them selves
Correct your spelling
themselves
as
criminals like serial killers.
In conclusion, both Change preposition
into
the
views Correct article usage
apply
has
Change the verb form
have
Correct article usage
a certian
certian
proportion of effect on Correct your spelling
certain
people
becoming criminals. Therefore
, as a nation
we should be more Add a comma
nation,
concern
Replace the word
concerned
on
social problems, poverty and adverse Change preposition
about
behaviors
of Change the spelling
behaviours
people
to eliminate and reduce the risk of crimes.Submitted by samadhi22ch on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on using connectors and transitional words more effectively to ensure smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Enhance task achievement by providing more relevant specific examples to support your arguments and add depth to your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets up the discussion by presenting both sides of the argument and expressing a clear opinion.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion successfully encapsulates the main points discussed and reiterates the importance of addressing both causes of crime.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!