Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor, do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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More and more people gravitate toward
alternative
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medicine
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rather than conventional methods of doctor's prescription.
Although
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the former might be beneficial, I am of the opinion that its downturns overshadow its benefits. The ever-growing popularity of
alternative
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medicine
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has brought benefits for both patients and the
healthcare
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system
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. These practices are often popular within local communities and are believed to be more effective than modern
treatments
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. It is said that these
treatments
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have less harmful effects as they do not use chemically-made medications.
For instance
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, chiropractic, a manual
alternative
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treatment, can help patients steer clear of painkillers and the exorbitant costs of injectable drugs.
Moreover
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, using
alternative
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medicines decreases the number of patients visiting general practitioners, and prescriptions will be handed out less frequently, ultimately diminishing the financial burden on the
healthcare
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system
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.
However
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, these promised benefits pale in the face of potential risks associated with these
treatments
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. First and foremost, chemically based medications go through various experiments, and their common technical documentation, known as CTD, is validated by authorities before being distributed to pharmacies.
Alternative
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medicine
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,
on the other hand
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, has been developed through centuries and lacks laboratory experiments.
Therefore
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,
while
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prescribed medications' side effects are well-known, these conventional
treatments
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have no valid documentation for their side effects and potential hazards.
As a result
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, if any adverse reaction happens after taking herbal
medicine
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or therapy, no promised remedy would be provided.
For instance
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, bees' stings are considered to be beneficial for one's arthritis pains.
However
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, a multitude of individuals are allergic to bees' stings, and if one showcases an instant allergic reaction, the deadly mechanisms would act within seconds before anyone would get a chance to call an ambulance or ask for a helping hand. In cases
that
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where
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the reaction is not as immediate as bees' stings, the patient would be displaced to state hospitals for
further
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treatment.
Consequently
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, the
healthcare
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system
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would be troubled in providing adequate remedies for these
treatments
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' repercussions. In conclusion,
alternative
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medicine
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can have a positive impact on people's lives;
however
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, their impetuous usage may double the strain on the
healthcare
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system
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.
Submitted by ghazalmoosavi79 on

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coherence cohesion
While the essay presents a structured argument, ensure that the transitions between points are smoother for a more cohesive read. This can help in maintaining the flow and connectivity of ideas throughout the text.
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Try to further elaborate on examples or provide statistics where possible, to enrich the essay and provide more convincing support.
task achievement
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a complete response to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The arguments are well-structured and the main points are supported, making the essay logical and easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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