IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Countries are planning for the future and the best way is to invest resources on the young population. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #future #resources #population
In the contemporary epoch of globalization, the young are considered the backbone of society. Nations are imposing to embark on strategies for the future,
as a result
, they figured that investing resources in the middle age population is the best way. I totally agree with
this
 context.
To begin
 with, youths play a crucial role in our community.
Firstly
, they are aware of the unprecedented technology.
Therefore
, they are able to work in places related to these areas.
Therefore
, the
government
 should spend more money on education , especially in the programming sector. One of the sparked instances in Egypt. The Egyptian
government
 encourages their pupils to embark on coding courses. These courses are free and will raise their knowledge of technology.
Secondly
, The healthcare sector should be a prime priority. They should raise their immunity by giving them the right vaccines.
Moreover
, they should follow them regularly and support them with more sports facilities. These areas can enhance them physically.
However
, youths are recklessness. They can make bad decisions. Despite understanding
this
 point of view, I cannot disagree. In order to generate a superior generation, the
government
 should assist the offspring and provide them with good leadership. In Qatar, the
government
 enforced a law that the child should be observed from the beginning.
This
 puts the Qatrian people at the top of the people around the world who can lead the world. In conclusion, the
government
 should implement a strategy. the
government
 should be aware of their people. The new generation should be well-developed.
Submitted by mohannadsme on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of the essay. While ideas are present, they should be organized more clearly to create a more logical flow. Consider using more transitional phrases between paragraphs to guide the reader.
Task Achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear single focus. Some paragraphs mention multiple ideas that could be developed more fully if separated into distinct sections.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and fulfill their roles adequately. They frame the argument and summarize the main ideas effectively.
Task Achievement
The essay uses relevant and specific examples, such as the coding courses in Egypt and leadership monitoring in Qatar, which help in illustrating the main ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!