Putting criminals into prisons is not an effective to deal with them. Instead, education and job training should be offered. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believe that criminals should be provided
courses
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,
tutions
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tuitions
tuition
and job facilities, after
commiting
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committing
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crime
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a crime
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rather than
the
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apply
show examples
putting
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
behind
the
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apply
show examples
jars. I partially agree with
this
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statement. And in
this
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essay, I am going to discuss both states and try to emphasise both sides equally. On the one hand, providing tuition for
arrested
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an arrested
the arrested
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person can
floorish
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flourish
their motivation to live and hope for returning to ordinary life. As, offenders
would be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
isolated and kept in tough conditions, with other lawbreakers, their thinking and character may change to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
more aggressive way, where they can show
an
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apply
show examples
aggression and unapplicable manners. Visiting phycologist
courses
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, namely can help them to reveal their stress and forget all past events, where after releasing they can start
new
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a new
show examples
life with new impressions and expressions.
With
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In
show examples
another
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other
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words,
courses
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and education would encourage them
do
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apply
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not
dealing
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to deal
show examples
with
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crime
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a crime
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again,
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also
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and also
show examples
would
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apply
show examples
give them
the
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a
show examples
sence
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sense
of fulfilment.
However
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, if
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the goverment
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goverment
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government
would use
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uses
show examples
so kind of friendly methods,
ex-prissioners
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ex-prisoners
will
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would
show examples
lose
fear
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the fear
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of
prisons
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prison
show examples
and being arrested, since there would not be so difficult conditions which can jeopardise their health and
wellbeing
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well-being
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, they
will
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would
show examples
come across
crime
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again
again
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apply
show examples
, which can lead to
increase
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an increase
show examples
in
crime
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rate.
Additionally
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, despite the fact that
courses
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and job
employements
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employments
employment
employees
will run, there is no guarantee that offenders
would
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will
show examples
find their way and return to their life. In conclusion,
as
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apply
show examples
prisoners can
get
Verb problem
gain
show examples
a knowledge
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knowledge
a piece of knowledge
show examples
and enhance their abilities, through educational possibilities. They would lack
from
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apply
show examples
fear
from
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of
show examples
abandoned
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the abandoned
an abandoned
show examples
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
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of prisons that bring them up .
Submitted by halilova039 on

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task achievement
Clarify the main argument in the introduction. Clearly state whether you agree or disagree and outline the main points you will discuss. This will improve the focus and clarity of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and relevant supporting details. For example, when discussing the benefits of education for prisoners, provide specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument and ensure ideas are connected smoothly.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, making an effort to present a balanced view on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a sense of completeness to the essay.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges potential concerns about offering education and job training to criminals, demonstrating an understanding of both sides of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • recidivism
  • reintegration
  • rehabilitation
  • punitive measures
  • mindset
  • behavioral change
  • workforce preparation
  • prospects
  • reoffending
  • employment opportunities
  • socioeconomic
  • low-risk offenders
  • serious offenders
  • balance
  • productive members of society
  • economic burden
  • public safety
  • offender rehabilitation
  • transformative programs
What to do next:
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