Putting criminals into prisons is not an effective to deal with them. Instead, education and job training should be offered. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that criminals should be provided
courses
, tutions
and job facilities, after Correct your spelling
tuitions
tuition
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
crime
rather than Correct article usage
a crime
the
putting Correct article usage
apply
them
behind Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
jars. I partially agree with Correct article usage
apply
this
statement. And in this
essay, I am going to discuss both states and try to emphasise both sides equally.
On the one hand, providing tuition for arrested
person can Add an article
an arrested
the arrested
floorish
their motivation to live and hope for returning to ordinary life. As, offenders Correct your spelling
flourish
would be
isolated and kept in tough conditions, with other lawbreakers, their thinking and character may change to Wrong verb form
are
the
more aggressive way, where they can show Correct article usage
a
an
aggression and unapplicable manners. Visiting phycologist Correct article usage
apply
courses
, namely can help them to reveal their stress and forget all past events, where after releasing they can start new
life with new impressions and expressions. Add an article
a new
With
Change preposition
In
another
words, Correct quantifier usage
other
courses
and education would encourage them do
notVerb problem
apply
dealing
with Change the verb form
to deal
crime
again, Add an article
a crime
also
Correct word choice
and also
would
give them Verb problem
apply
the
Correct article usage
a
sence
of fulfilment.
Correct your spelling
sense
However
, if Correct article usage
the goverment
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
would use
so kind of friendly methods, Wrong verb form
uses
ex-prissioners
Correct your spelling
ex-prisoners
will
lose Wrong verb form
would
fear
of Add an article
the fear
prisons
and being arrested, since there would not be so difficult conditions which can jeopardise their health and Fix the agreement mistake
prison
wellbeing
, they Correct your spelling
well-being
will
come across Wrong verb form
would
crime
again again
, which can lead to Remove the redundancy
apply
increase
in Correct article usage
an increase
crime
rate. Additionally
, despite the fact that courses
and job employements
will run, there is no guarantee that offenders Correct your spelling
employments
employment
employees
would
find their way and return to their life.
In conclusion, Wrong verb form
will
as
prisoners can Correct word choice
apply
get
Verb problem
gain
a knowledge
and enhance their abilities, through educational possibilities. They would lack Remove the article
knowledge
a piece of knowledge
from
fear Change preposition
apply
from
Change preposition
of
abandoned
Add an article
the abandoned
an abandoned
method
of prisons that bring them up .Fix the agreement mistake
methods
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task achievement
Clarify the main argument in the introduction. Clearly state whether you agree or disagree and outline the main points you will discuss. This will improve the focus and clarity of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and relevant supporting details. For example, when discussing the benefits of education for prisoners, provide specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument and ensure ideas are connected smoothly.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, making an effort to present a balanced view on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a sense of completeness to the essay.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges potential concerns about offering education and job training to criminals, demonstrating an understanding of both sides of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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