Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The question of whether
children
Use synonyms
should be encouraged to compete or cooperate has been widely debated.
While
Linking Words
some argue that fostering a competitive spirit prepares
children
Use synonyms
for success in
life
Use synonyms
, others contend that teaching them to cooperate makes them more well-rounded and valuable members of society. In my opinion,
both
Use synonyms
competition
Use synonyms
and
cooperation
Use synonyms
are essential, but
cooperation
Use synonyms
should be prioritized, with
competition
Use synonyms
introduced in a balanced way. On the one hand, a sense of
competition
Use synonyms
can have numerous benefits. It drives
children
Use synonyms
to push their limits and strive for excellence, which can be particularly useful in academic and athletic contexts.
For example
Linking Words
, in sports,
competition
Use synonyms
encourages
children
Use synonyms
to improve their skills and work hard to outperform their peers.
Similarly
Linking Words
, in academic environments,
children
Use synonyms
who are motivated by
competition
Use synonyms
often set higher goals and are more determined to achieve them.
This
Linking Words
competitive drive can foster resilience and perseverance, qualities that are valuable not only in school but
also
Linking Words
later in
life
Use synonyms
when facing the challenges of a career.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
competition
Use synonyms
can teach
children
Use synonyms
how to handle
both
Use synonyms
victory and defeat gracefully, which are important
life
Use synonyms
lessons.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
cooperation
Use synonyms
is an equally, if not more, important skill that
children
Use synonyms
need to learn. In most real-world situations, particularly in professional settings, success is rarely achieved through
competition
Use synonyms
alone. Collaboration, teamwork, and the ability to work harmoniously with others are essential. Teaching
children
Use synonyms
how to cooperate from a young age helps them develop empathy, communication skills, and the ability to work towards common goals. These skills are crucial for building positive relationships and are highly valued in
both
Use synonyms
personal and professional spheres.
For instance
Linking Words
, employees who can cooperate effectively with colleagues tend to perform better in team-based projects and contribute more to their organizations. In my view,
while
Linking Words
competition
Use synonyms
can drive personal achievement,
cooperation
Use synonyms
plays a more fundamental role in shaping well-adjusted adults who can contribute to society. A competitive mindset may encourage individual success, but without the ability to cooperate,
children
Use synonyms
might struggle in social and team-oriented environments.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that
cooperation
Use synonyms
should be the primary focus in
children
Use synonyms
's education, with
competition
Use synonyms
introduced in a healthy, controlled manner to motivate personal growth without undermining the importance of teamwork. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
both
Use synonyms
competition
Use synonyms
and
cooperation
Use synonyms
have their merits, I believe
cooperation
Use synonyms
is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
more valuable
life
Use synonyms
skill for
children
Use synonyms
. A balanced approach that teaches
children
Use synonyms
to cooperate
while
Linking Words
allowing them to experience
competition
Use synonyms
in a healthy way is the best strategy for preparing them for adulthood.
Submitted by astarindri on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
Ensure examples are directly linked to the argument and provide more specific instances.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify the balance between competition and cooperation in your argument to strengthen your stance.
complete response
The essay addresses both views on the topic thoroughly, with a clear stance provided.
logical structure
Logical structure is maintained with clear transitions between points and paragraphs, enhancing readability.
introduction conclusion present
A strong introduction clearly sets the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: