In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food or use animal products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent times, several efforts have been made to substitute the use of animals or animal derivatives for food.

While

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some agree that animal usage for

such

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is unnecessary, I completely disagree with

this

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take because animal protein is an important part of people's diet that cannot be completely substituted.

To begin

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, dietary rewards from animals are being regarded as unimportant for a few reasons. One is that the campaign against animal cruelty is growing stronger.

That is

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, killing them for feeding is cruel and unwarranted.

Therefore

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, more vegetarians are emerging,

hence

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, a lower need for animal substances.

Also

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, manufactured products that replace animal-derived nutrients are on the rise. So, why the killing of stocks if people could walk into stores, buy them and feed on these substances?

For Instance

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, manufactured weight-protein diets are being consumed by bodybuilders

instead

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of the natural ones.

However

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, I totally stand against

this

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view. Human beings cannot do without feeding on them.

Firstly

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, based on Biology, the best source of protein is animal protein. Especially, from egg white which is the most ideal source of Albumin, and

this

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is an essential micronutrient that the body demands to be healthy.

Also

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, canned diets are artificial and are preserved with organic substances that can serve as toxins to the body when consumed in large quantities.

For example

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, colon cancer has been associated with the consumption of factory-processed food. So, eating a natural meal is more beneficial health-wise. In conclusion,

although

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wildlife and pets should be preserved, feeding on stocks by humans is more important and it forms the basis of sound health in humans.

Therefore

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, the government should strive to find a balance

instead

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callmosomitoyinTue Oct 15 2024

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task achievement

Consider providing a more comprehensive overview of the arguments against using animals for food to strengthen your position. This can help demonstrate a balanced understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Ensure that your examples directly support the points being made. For instance, the mention of bodybuilders using manufactured protein could be better linked to the argument about artificial diets.

coherence and cohesion

The essay’s conclusion could benefit from a more synthesizing summary of both sides before reaffirming your stance.

coherence and cohesion

While your introduction and conclusion are present, try to create a clearer link between them. It can be beneficial to mirror some language or ideas presented in the introduction within the conclusion for coherence.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the main question and provides reasoning for your disagreement, which shows a clear position on the topic.

coherence and cohesion

The paragraph about the nutritional importance of animal protein is well-structured and communicates your points effectively.

coherence and cohesion

You used transitions effectively between ideas to maintain logical flow and guide the reader through your arguments.

14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Animal welfare
Sustainable agriculture
Veganism
Carnism
Factory farming
Ecosystem degradation
Ethical consumption
Cruelty-free
Greenhouse gases
Plant-based diet
Nutrient deficiency
Cultural norms
Biotechnology
Animal-free products
Food security

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In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food or use animal products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people belive that leadership is natural. while others disagree discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Building underground transport systems (subways) is the best way to deal with traffic problems in cities

Some students agree that internet-based lectures is better type lectures. The other students tend to believe that university-based lectures is still needed. Explain your opinion for both sides of the view.

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweight the disadvantages?