In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food or use animal products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent times, several efforts have been made to substitute the use of animals or animal derivatives for food.
While
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some agree that animal usage for
such
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is unnecessary, I completely disagree with
this
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take because animal protein is an important part of people's diet that cannot be completely substituted.
To begin
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, dietary rewards from animals are being regarded as unimportant for a few reasons. One is that the campaign against animal cruelty is growing stronger.
That is
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, killing them for feeding is cruel and unwarranted.
Therefore
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, more vegetarians are emerging,
hence
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, a lower need for animal substances.
Also
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, manufactured products that replace animal-derived nutrients are on the rise. So, why the killing of stocks if people could walk into stores, buy them and feed on these substances?
For Instance
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, manufactured weight-protein diets are being consumed by bodybuilders
instead
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of the natural ones.
However
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, I totally stand against
this
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view. Human beings cannot do without feeding on them.
Firstly
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, based on Biology, the best source of protein is animal protein. Especially, from egg white which is the most ideal source of Albumin, and
this
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is an essential micronutrient that the body demands to be healthy.
Also
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, canned diets are artificial and are preserved with organic substances that can serve as toxins to the body when consumed in large quantities.
For example
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, colon cancer has been associated with the consumption of factory-processed food. So, eating a natural meal is more beneficial health-wise. In conclusion,
although
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wildlife and pets should be preserved, feeding on stocks by humans is more important and it forms the basis of sound health in humans.
Therefore
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, the government should strive to find a balance
instead
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.
Submitted by callmosomitoyin on

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task achievement
Consider providing a more comprehensive overview of the arguments against using animals for food to strengthen your position. This can help demonstrate a balanced understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Ensure that your examples directly support the points being made. For instance, the mention of bodybuilders using manufactured protein could be better linked to the argument about artificial diets.
coherence and cohesion
The essay’s conclusion could benefit from a more synthesizing summary of both sides before reaffirming your stance.
coherence and cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, try to create a clearer link between them. It can be beneficial to mirror some language or ideas presented in the introduction within the conclusion for coherence.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the main question and provides reasoning for your disagreement, which shows a clear position on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The paragraph about the nutritional importance of animal protein is well-structured and communicates your points effectively.
coherence and cohesion
You used transitions effectively between ideas to maintain logical flow and guide the reader through your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Animal welfare
  • Sustainable agriculture
  • Veganism
  • Carnism
  • Factory farming
  • Ecosystem degradation
  • Ethical consumption
  • Cruelty-free
  • Greenhouse gases
  • Plant-based diet
  • Nutrient deficiency
  • Cultural norms
  • Biotechnology
  • Animal-free products
  • Food security
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