IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Most people do not pay attention to environmental problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Most people do not pay attention to environmental problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? It is evident that numerous populations do not take any important measures to protect nature and environmental problems. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea and I will explain my personal opinion about it. The majority of people all around the world prefer their convenience, and the impacts of their activities on the future and next generations are not important to them.
For instance
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, in Colombia, they would rather use their private vehicles
instead
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 of public transportation like bicycles or electric buses.
In addition
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, some thoughtless individuals dispose of their waste in the
environment
Use synonyms
, particularly in rivers, streets, parks,
other
Correct word choice
and other
show examples
 places, resulting in water pollution and it is causing harmful substances to lead to diseases and respiratory infections.
Besides
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, the government must emphasize and prioritize
in
Change preposition
apply
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the use of renewable energy over non-renewable resources
such
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 as oil, coal, and gas, as
this
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 is essential in combating global pollution.
However
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, it is important to acknowledge that there are reasons behind these unbeneficial
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
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.
Firstly
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, many people are not informed about the negative effects and damage
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
an environment
show examples
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 bad uses of natural resources.
Secondly
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, it is the responsibility of authorities to educate both adults and children
,
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apply
show examples
 and to encourage them to take positive steps. It is essential to create rules with fines for those who do not pay attention to them.
Finally
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, there are individuals who are enthusiastic about preserving nature and actively organize campaigns to maintain the cleanliness of the
environment
Use synonyms
. Unfortunately, the world
need
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needs
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 challenges to protect the
environment
Use synonyms
 and
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 enough support from both other individuals and governments. In conclusion, it is evident that environmental issues will continue to escalate unless both citizens and governments take proactive measures. I consider that these problems can be resolved if everyone takes the initiative to educate themselves and actively participate in local environmental initiatives.

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task achievement
Work on ensuring a more balanced discussion by recognizing both perspectives about environmental awareness and noting positive changes as well.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph smoothly transitions into the next to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
task achievement
Good use of examples, such as the Colombian example, which supports your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a clear introduction, well-developed body, and conclusion, ensuring a logical flow.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and provides a call to action, making the argument impactful.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
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