Some people think that teenage years are the happiest times of most peoples lives.others think that adult life brings more happiness in spite of greater responsibilites . Discuss both veiws and give your opinion.

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Undoubtedly, happiness is not considered at any age. But it is a common belief that the happiest part of life is in teenagers'

lives

. There is

also

an argument that other humans consider

adults

lives

to be the most exciting during their

responsibilities

This

essay will analyse both views and express my opinion. On the one hand, young people's

lives

can be quite happy

due to

fewer

responsibilities

In other words

, they are still in school, which is the beginning of their

lives

Moreover

, teenagers can do whatever they want without thinking of the consequences.

For instance

, Many teens today have their own phones and homes without paying for them, but their families do.

Besides

, their life could be quite flexible

due to

their free time. But most of the teens were unable to accept the majority of the time they had.

On the other hand

adults

have many

responsibilities

to care for,

such

as paying for the flat, buying a car, and taking care of their financial accounts.

As a result

of taking care, they can feel free and start doing whatever they wanted to do when they were children.

For example

, a study showed that more than 67% of

adults

started to feel happy and free at the age of 21.

Furthermore

. In conclusion, there is no easy way to answer

this

question. On balance,

however

, I tend to believe that happiness cannot match any age.

Moreover

, many people found that when they were kids, they had no

responsibilities

, but they could not reach freedom.

In contrast

adults

nowadays have many to do, but they feel more comfortable.

Submitted by ferasmirza11 on Wed Oct 16 2024

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Task Achievement

Try to develop ideas more comprehensively to provide a complete response. This will enhance the depth of your analysis and improve task achievement.

Task Achievement

Provide clearer and more specific examples to reinforce your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and relatable.

Coherence and Cohesion

Pay attention to the logical flow of ideas. Make sure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next, and ideas are not just listed but linked.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to frame your argument clearly.

Task Achievement

Both perspectives of the debate are presented, showing understanding of the task requirements.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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