IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people,however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #governments #progress #people #country
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Whilst the
governments
Use synonyms
 believe the
economy
Use synonyms
 is very important because they depend on it very much,
people
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 think the other types of progress are equal to money so they can get their rights properly. On the one hand, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments
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 focus on
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economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 because it's the most important part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
country
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 and they can't
acheive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 their goals if they didn't be successful
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
economy
Add an article
the economy
an economy
show examples
 part. If the
governments
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 look to make the
people
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 happy they need to spend on them by giving them a good salary and that can't
be happened
Change to the active voice
happen
have happened
show examples
 if the
government
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economy
Use synonyms
in
Add a missing verb
is in
show examples
terrible
Add an article
a terrible
show examples
 situation. Most
of
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apply
show examples
governments
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 depend on the
economy
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 to measure their success;
therefore
Linking Words
, they can give
a proper salaries
Correct the article-noun agreement
a proper salary
proper salaries
show examples
 to the workers and employees and that for them is the most important thing.
UK
Correct article usage
The UK
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 is the best example when the
government
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decide
Wrong verb form
decided
show examples
 to increase the salary by 10% because the
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country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
economy
Use synonyms
 was very strong and the
government
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 was satisfied with that.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, As
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economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
important
Add a missing verb
is important
show examples
 for the
government
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people
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Add a missing verb
are warried
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warried
Correct your spelling
worried
 about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other things There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a lot of things important
such
Linking Words
 as medication in their own
country
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,
people
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 would like to have a good facility for their
midication
Correct your spelling
medication
, it's not only about money and
Use synonyms
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
. What is the
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
 if the
government
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successed
Correct your spelling
succeeded
 and
focused
Wrong verb form
focuses
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 and dismiss the
midication
Correct your spelling
medication
, they're worried about their medicines in the future and how they will be treated in their
country
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.
Japan
Change noun form
Japan's
show examples
economy
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 is very strong, but
unfortunately
Add a comma
unfortunately,
show examples
 the
midication
Correct your spelling
medication
thier
Correct your spelling
there
 is in
terrible
Add an article
a terrible
show examples
 situation. In conclusion, I believe
people
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 the right to ask the
governments
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 to make the other parts of the
country
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 equal to
Use synonyms
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 part of it, the
economy
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not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 only the important thing in the
country
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by altammar12 on

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general
Clarify and expand on each main idea with specific examples and detailed explanations. For instance, further details on why governments prioritize economic growth or examples of other key types of progress would strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by ensuring each paragraph flows logically to the next. You could improve transitions between the introduction, body, and conclusion sections.
language and mechanics
Check for grammar and vocabulary mistakes, especially with words like 'medication' and 'worried.' Although small inaccuracies don’t hugely affect the grade, minimizing them will enhance clarity and professionalism.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in organizing the argument.
task achievement
You cover both viewpoints as required by the task, showcasing an understanding of the topic.
evidence support
Including specific examples like the UK’s salary increase ties your points to real-world instances, strengthening your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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