IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people believe tertiary education should be free, but some others say universities should chatge students. discuss both viwes and give your opinion.

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It is said that
although
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 a group of individuals present the view that it is necessary for
universities
Use synonyms
 to charge
students
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,
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whereas
Correct word choice
apply
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others are of the opinion that tertiary education should be free. I strongly agree with the former opinion. On the one hand, some
people
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 justifiably argue that charging
students
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 for
universities
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 leads to more studying with better quality, so they can pass their courses in a timely manner.
Otherwise
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, they should pay tuition for each extra educational course which did not pass on time.
In addition
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,
as a result
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 of not being free tuition for
universities
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, the government can invest in the other part of development.
Due to
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 the fact that
universities
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' expenditures are money consuming
such
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 as laboratory instruments and different facilities. They impose expenses on the government
then
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 emitting them provides opportunities for construction infrastructures.
On the other hand
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, another group of
people
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 claim that
as a result
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 of free tertiary education, each person can
benefit
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 from
this
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 option. They insist that if it is not necessary to think about university tuition, the difference between rural and urban
students
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 is more likely would be emitted. So that it leads to equality in educational access. Another perceived
benefit
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 of not charging
universities
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 is that it gives rise to an increasing willingness among
people
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 to
benefit
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 from tertiary education.
As a result
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 of obtaining higher qualifications, better job opportunities would be proposed.
However
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, in my view,
this
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 argument is not valid since most
people
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 can get a loan.
Furthermore
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, they can
benefit
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 from other short-term placements in order to learn a job or get a promotion.
To conclude
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, in my view, I completely believe
universities
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 should charge
students
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. Because it helps the quality of the university grow a step ahead and controls money consumption for the government.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear response to the task. However, it is advisable to further bolster your arguments with more specific and detailed examples. For example, you could mention particular countries or systems that have benefitted from charging students or providing free education.
task achievement
Ensure that your main points are sufficiently supported with clear and relevant examples. It gives the essay more depth and makes your arguments more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of ideas is good, but sometimes your sentences could be more concise. Avoid repetition and aim for clarity to improve the overall coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
You have presented a clear introduction and conclusion which succinctly summarize your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow your points.
task achievement
You've responded fully to the task and discussed both viewpoints clearly before presenting your opinion.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear and you have provided a balanced argument.
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