Holding International games such as The Olympic Games is an exciting event. Some people think that it has positive effects while other argue that it is a waste of money. Discuss both sides of view and give your own opinion.

Holding international
games
such
as The Olympic
Games
is an interesting activity. Some individuals might think that
hold
Wrong verb form
holding
show examples
this
event
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
many advantages.
First,
The
Olypmic
Correct your spelling
Olympic
Games
can bring
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
economic impact to the
host
country
because hosting international
games
would attract
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
from different
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
for visiting
Change preposition
to visit
show examples
. It might need a lot of
staff
Correct your spelling
stuff
show examples
to entertain them. So, the number of job requirements will increase which can boost the economy through tourism, infrastructure development and job creation.
Second,
The
Olypmic
Correct your spelling
Olympic
Games
can
also
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
the
host
country
's global prestige and recognition. Since
this
event
is very important to the
host
country
, they will focus on developing the centre of the
country
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
gain global attention to their advanced infrastructure.
Therefore
,
this
event
can expand the international reputation
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
host
country
and encourage their cultural exchange.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
, holding The
Olypmic
Correct your spelling
Olympic
Games
might damage the environment. Many visitors would come to visit the
host
country
for
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
games
. So, the construction and influx of visitors can lead to
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environmental
degradation and
Correct article usage
an enanced
show examples
enanced
Correct your spelling
enhanced
enhance
carbon footprint, these would
destory
Correct your spelling
destroy
the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
Moreover
,
although
the
host
country
can develop lots of
factilities
Correct your spelling
facilities
activities
to
benefits
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
global prestige and recognition. Many buildings produced for the
games
are often underutilized post-
event
, leading to
Correct article usage
a wastage
show examples
wastage
Replace the word
waste
show examples
of
resoures
Correct your spelling
resources
and funds. In conclusion, having The
Olypmic
Correct your spelling
Olympic
Games
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
both pros and cons.
This
event
could boost the visitors, buildings, job creation and reputation
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
the hosting
country
.
However
, because many
factilies
Correct your spelling
facilities
families
factories
were built and attracted tourism, it would lead
Change preposition
to the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
increasing footprint and wastage of resources.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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task achievement
Your essay provided a balanced view of both sides, adequately addressing the task, but you could enhance your task response by incorporating more specific examples or statistics that support your arguments.
task achievement
Try to further develop your main points with more detailed explanations and specific examples that illustrate your views.
coherence cohesion
The essay's structure is generally logical, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, ensure each paragraph follows a logical progression to make your points clearer.
coherence cohesion
Linking between sections of the essay could be smoother. Use more advanced transitional phrases to improve the flow between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frames your discussion.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument, fulfilling the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
You identified several relevant points related to the economic impact and the potential environmental consequences of hosting the Olympic Games.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic impact
  • infrastructure development
  • global attention
  • international reputation
  • cultural exchange
  • national pride
  • sense of achievement
  • fund allocation
  • essential services
  • environmental degradation
  • carbon footprint
  • post-event utilization
  • resource wastage
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