Holding International games such as The Olympic Games is an exciting event. Some people think that it has positive effects while other argue that it is a waste of money. Discuss both sides of view and give your own opinion.
Holding international
games
such
as The Olympic Games
is an interesting activity. Some individuals might think that hold
Wrong verb form
holding
this
event
have
many advantages. Correct subject-verb agreement
has
First,
The Olypmic
Correct your spelling
Olympic
Games
can bring positive
economic impact to the Correct article usage
a positive
host
country
because hosting international games
would attract poeple
from different Correct your spelling
people
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
for visiting
. It might need a lot of Change preposition
to visit
staff
to entertain them. So, the number of job requirements will increase which can boost the economy through tourism, infrastructure development and job creation. Correct your spelling
stuff
Second,
The Olypmic
Correct your spelling
Olympic
Games
can also
rise
the Correct your spelling
raise
host
country
's global prestige and recognition. Since this
event
is very important to the host
country
, they will focus on developing the centre of the country
for
gain global attention to their advanced infrastructure. Change preposition
to
Therefore
, this
event
can expand the international reputation to
the Change preposition
of
host
country
and encourage their cultural exchange.
In
Change preposition
On
contrary
, holding The Correct article usage
the contrary
Olypmic
Correct your spelling
Olympic
Games
might damage the environment. Many visitors would come to visit the host
country
for this
Correct determiner usage
these
games
. So, the construction and influx of visitors can lead to enviroment
degradation and Correct your spelling
environmental
Correct article usage
an enanced
enanced
carbon footprint, these would Correct your spelling
enhanced
enhance
destory
the Correct your spelling
destroy
enviroment
. Correct your spelling
environment
Moreover
, although
the host
country
can develop lots of factilities
to Correct your spelling
facilities
activities
benefits
Wrong verb form
benefit
thier
global prestige and recognition. Many buildings produced for the Correct your spelling
their
games
are often underutilized post-event
, leading to Correct article usage
a wastage
wastage
of Replace the word
waste
resoures
and funds.
In conclusion, having The Correct your spelling
resources
Olypmic
Correct your spelling
Olympic
Games
have
both pros and cons. Correct subject-verb agreement
has
This
event
could boost the visitors, buildings, job creation and reputation to
the hosting Change preposition
of
country
. However
, because many factilies
were built and attracted tourism, it would lead Correct your spelling
facilities
families
factories
Change preposition
to the
the
increasing footprint and wastage of resources.Correct article usage
an
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task achievement
Your essay provided a balanced view of both sides, adequately addressing the task, but you could enhance your task response by incorporating more specific examples or statistics that support your arguments.
task achievement
Try to further develop your main points with more detailed explanations and specific examples that illustrate your views.
coherence cohesion
The essay's structure is generally logical, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, ensure each paragraph follows a logical progression to make your points clearer.
coherence cohesion
Linking between sections of the essay could be smoother. Use more advanced transitional phrases to improve the flow between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frames your discussion.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument, fulfilling the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
You identified several relevant points related to the economic impact and the potential environmental consequences of hosting the Olympic Games.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.