IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Number of houses built per year in two cities Derby and Nottingham – Bar Chart

#houses #year #two #cities #derby #nottingham #bar
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The chart illustrates the constructed accommodations count per year between 2000 and 2009 in Derby and Nottingham. There are yellow and light blue columns in the diagram and they represent Nottingham and Derby, respectively. In Derby urban, built houses rates were merely close in each year in 2000 and 2001, in according that their figure were approximately 40 and 44. From 2003 and 2007 the number of created flats remained constant at 110 without any changes. In 2008 constructed buildings numbered 7 times more than 2001's results with 280. In 2009 scale of houses reached its peak with 348 in
this
Linking Words
 developed city. In Nottingham Urban, there was a wave in its built accommodation statistics. In 2009 account scale was 250 which means 5 times more 2000 rate. in 2005
this
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 figure was a half of 2007's number with 80. After 2005, there is a reverse trend in 2006's built houses figure,
therefore
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 it diminished to 10.
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coherence cohesion
Try to introduce some linking words between paragraphs to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion is missing; add a summary of the main findings at the end.
task achievement
Provide more detailed analysis and comparison of the data presented in the chart.
coherence cohesion
The essay attempts to describe the changes over time and highlights key data points.
task achievement
Main points and trends are noted and explained for both cities.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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