70.The government has the duty to ensure that its citizens have a healthy diet, while others believe this is individuals’ responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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A portion of people view that it is the government's job to make sure that citizens have a healthy
diet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Conversely
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, others think that everyone is responsible for their own
diet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. I feel that eating healthy is something that you are responsible for.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, consuming the right nutrients is essential to the longevity of life. But most products nowadays are filled with fattening ingredients and the ones that don’t are always more expensive. A number of people believe that the government should provide civilians
more
Change preposition
with more

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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accessible ways to eat
healthy
Change the adjective
healthily

The adjective healthy is modifying eat instead of a noun or pronoun. Use an adverb to modify a verb, adjective, or other adverb.

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.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they should make healthy foods more affordable and set a policy for food production companies to use less processed and unhealthy ingredients in their products. To add to that, they should restrict the use of harmful chemicals,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as artificial
coloring
Change the spelling
colouring

The spelling of coloring is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some view
that
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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a healthy
diet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
Correct your spelling
as

The word is doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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a
self responsibility
Add a hyphen
self-responsibility

It appears that self responsibility is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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. They say that you are responsible for your own body and what you consume because the outcome will only affect you.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, no one
diet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

fits everyone, a person's needs and beliefs vary in many ways. Some individuals may function better with
high carbohydrates
Correct your spelling
high-carbohydrate

The word high carbohydrates doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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food but some
Add a missing verb
are greater

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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greater
Correct word choice
better

There may be an adjective issue here.

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with a
diet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that prioritizes fats.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, athletes will require a more specific
diet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that contains more protein to help their muscles recover faster.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some people support the idea that the government should ensure a healthy
diet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Contradictingly
Correct your spelling
Contradicting

If you don’t want Contradictingly to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, opposers think that it is one's responsibility to eat
healthy
Change the adjective
healthily

The adjective healthy is modifying eat instead of a noun or pronoun. Use an adverb to modify a verb, adjective, or other adverb.

show examples
. In my opinion,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

authorities could help maintain a healthful
diet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, it should be your personal duty and choice to make.

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task achievement
Clarify the main argument in the introduction to strengthen the thesis statement, making it more aligned with the discussion you're going to have.
coherence cohesion
Enhance transitions between paragraphs for smoother flow, aiding in better cohesion.
task achievement
The essay includes a balanced view, discussing both sides of the argument clearly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a strong start and finish to the essay.
task achievement
Relevant examples support the arguments, adding depth to the discussion.
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