IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country
People
 often claim that professionals like doctors and
engineers
 are better off working in the country where they learned their lessons. Others argue that they should have choices to
work
 anywhere they wish, I strongly agree with
this
 statement.
To begin
 with, some
people
 believe that doctors and
engineers
 are required to
work
 in the same country where they took their training.
This
 is because they might have taught the cultures of
people
 and climate situations of a nation during their training. Doctors probably have knowledge of seasonal diseases like the flu,
as well as
, the lifestyles of local
people
, which leads to digging easily the root cause of the flu and is more effective in curing it.
In addition
,
engineers
 might have learned the right amount of ingredients to mix for construction to build a durable building in regard to the country’s climate.
Furthermore
, having insight into residents and their financial status allows them to fulfil client's needs and wants.
On the other hand
, others believe that experts should have opportunities to
work
 in every nation as theories and concepts meet international standards. The main reason why they should have the freedom to
work
 in other countries is that it can open doors for many professions to exchange their knowledge and experiences for society.
For instance
, the
engineers
 had a chance to
work
 abroad for a decade would equip them with advanced technology and methods, which can
further
 be applied in their original countries for future developments.
Thus
, creating many options for professionals from different industries is beneficial not only for them but
also
 for every nation. After consideration of both views, in my opinion, the positive factors will be greater than the negative ones for allowing the experts to choose the country where they wish to
work
 other than the region where they had been trained.
Submitted by mamamonkey45 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to add more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, providing data or specific instances of a professional benefiting from working abroad would be beneficial.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Though your ideas are well-organized, emphasizing connections can further improve the flow.
coherence cohesion
Clear and engaging introduction and conclusion that bookend your essay well.
task achievement
Discussion of both viewpoints is concise and covers the necessary aspects, offering a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Effective organization of ideas with a logical order of arguments presented within paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: