It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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this

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day and age, it is getting more and more vital for

people

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, including young

individuals

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to put much more emphasis on saving

money

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. In my opinion, I strongly believe that

this

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habit should be adopted by everyone and I will discuss these advantages in detail below

Firstly

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, saving

money

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provides financial security and

sustainable

Correct article usage

a sustainable

show examples

future

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. Since most of our lives are unpredictable and we sometimes are faced with financial hardship, saving

money

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can help you cope with

such

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adversity.

For instance

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, when you have a sudden medical emergency which requires a great deal of

money

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or job loss, these situations will leave

individuals

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financially vulnerable,but

savings

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will basically alleviate

such

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tough situations. Without

savings

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people

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have to borrow financial aid from different sources,

hence

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getting into debt.

This

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financial cushion not only

allow

Change the verb form

allows

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us to manage to get through challenges but

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

also

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fosters independence in the face of adversity.

Besides

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this

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savings

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can play an important role in forming a successful

future

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career. Accumulated

savings

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can fund significant

future

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investments

such

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as purchasing houses, cars or even starting a business as seen in developing countries

Correct quantifier usage

such as

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Viet Nam, where young

individuals

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often use their

savings

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to establish their own enterprises

such

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as coffee shops or restaurants.

Furthermore

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, since the discipline of saving

money

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would foster a more financially responsible mindset,

people

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who save

money

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are likely to make firm and decisive decisions and seize prospective opportunities in both

professional

Correct pronoun usage

their professional

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and personal

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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This

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habit would empower them,

therefore

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give

Wrong verb form

giving

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them more chance of success. In conclusion, saving

money

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benefits us in many aspects ranging from providing a financial safety net to funding

future

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investments.

Therefore

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this

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habit should be widely adopted by

people

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, including young

individuals

Use synonyms

dohuyhoangWed Oct 16 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a smoother transition between the first and second main points by using linking phrases or words such as 'Additionally', 'Moreover', or 'Another point to consider is'.

task achievement

While the examples provided are relevant, consider diversifying them further by including more global contexts or varying the examples to include less obvious aspects of personal savings benefits.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction clearly states the writer's opinion and what the essay will discuss.

relevant specific examples

The essay provides relevant and clear examples to support the argument.

logical structure

Each paragraph has a clear main point which is supported with explanations and examples.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
safety net
unforeseen circumstances
emergencies
future investments
retirement planning
financial discipline
habit of saving
amassing wealth
substantial fund
opportunity cost
additional income
inflation
purchasing power

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It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problemes.

Some people prefer to go to health clubs and gyms for health care, some say the walking and climbing stairs are more effective. Discuss both vies and give your opinion.