It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There is an ongoing debate about whether teenagers should save

money

Use synonyms

and avoid overspending for their future. From my point of view, saving plays a significant role in our lives, not only for adults but

also

Linking Words

for adolescents.

Firstly

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, saving

Change preposition

apply

show examples

money

Use synonyms

can help

people

Use synonyms

overcome hardships and emergencies. Unfortunately, when

people

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get into

this

Linking Words

situation and run out of

money

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, they must take a loan from the bank or even an unofficial organization. Nowadays, hospital fees have gone sky-high;

people

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must pay a lot of

money

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to be cured and use quality services.

Thus

Linking Words

, saving

money

Use synonyms

is important to fight against serious difficulties.

Secondly

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, young

people

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can learn how to buy cheeseparing by themself. If they want to buy something, they must manage their

money

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. Saving

money

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is mandatory to buy expensive goods

such

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as clothes, shoes, and toys.

For example

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, children like playing with

Lego

Fix the agreement mistake

Legos

show examples

;

however

Linking Words

, most Legos are at a high cost, and they must have financial management to buy toys.

Moreover

Linking Words

, when young

people

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learning

Wrong verb form

learn

show examples

how to save

money

Use synonyms

, it will promote healthy spending habits. After that, a strong foundation for

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

great fortune when they become older.

For instance

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

house prices in Hanoi are increasing dramatically, and they have risen about five times from 2022 to 2025.

Hence

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, wanting to own a house in Hanoi,

people

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need

Remove the article

apply

show examples

huge

money

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and

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

smart

money

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management. In conclusion,

while

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there are other critical comments about children

Verb problem

apply

show examples

not

need

Wrong verb form

needing

show examples

to save

money

Use synonyms

yet, I strongly agree that everyone should have a savings plan, especially teenagers.

dohuyhoangWed Oct 16 2024

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task achievement

Work on ensuring that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument with well-defined examples and explanations. Consider adding a few more relevant examples to strengthen your points.

coherence and cohesion

Focus on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Using transition words and phrases more effectively can help your reader follow your argument more smoothly.

task achievement

You presented a clear opinion that saving money is important, which is a strong approach for the task.

coherence and cohesion

Your conclusion effectively restates your position and encapsulates the main argument of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
safety net
unforeseen circumstances
emergencies
future investments
retirement planning
financial discipline
habit of saving
amassing wealth
substantial fund
opportunity cost
additional income
inflation
purchasing power

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It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some young people like to copy the behaviour and clothes of famous people today. Why might this be the case? What problems can it cause?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in other countries. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Recent research has shown that business meetings and trainings are increasingly taking place online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this

some people believe that the government should invest more in public services rather than in the arts. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”