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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that teachers have an important role to play in the educational success, while others think it is the students' attitude that matters. Discuss both of views and share your opinion.

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Some
people
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 argue that
teachers
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 play a vital role
to
Change preposition
in
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 a
student in
Change preposition
student's
show examples
educational success ,
whereas
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 others believe that it depends totally on
students
Use synonyms
 themselves. I,
however
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, with the former view. In
this
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 essay, I will give my reasons. On the one hand,
people
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 who say that
teachers
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 should provide all necessary materials and
information
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 to
students
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 to succeed in the course think that
teachers
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 are considered guides to
students
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 and without someone to teach them they will not get attention
while
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 they studying. In other
words
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words,
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 not all
students
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at
Add a missing verb
are at
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 the same level of understanding and receive the
information
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 so it is very crucial to receive
information
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 from the teacher. A prime example of
this
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 is that my sister has a mental issue and she does not understand immediately the
information
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 so she can not study alone.
Thus
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,
teachers
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 have great work in teaching
students
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.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 believe that
students
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 should depend on alone
while
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 they study they think because of technology and artificial intelligence they can search for and solve their problems fast.
For example
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, my brother his teacher never came to class and they suffered
at the end
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 of the course so because of that he believed in himself and browsed
information
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 from GTPchat, Wikipedia, and the internet.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 brings many benefits for
students
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 because he/she will not rely on
teachers
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 and they will be more confident in themselves. In conclusion, some
people
Use synonyms
 say that
students
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 should be self-studies,
while
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 others say that
teachers
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 play a significant role in teaching
students
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. I believe that without a teacher
students
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 will be distracted and stressed.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear and concise structure. The introduction should present the topic clearly and your stance or the purpose of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your essay maintains a logical flow.
task achievement
Strengthen the task response by elaborating further on your arguments and ensuring each point is clearly explained.
task achievement
Clarify your introduction and conclusion. Your points should directly relate to your thesis or main argument.
task achievement
You have used examples effectively to bolster your arguments, making the essay more engaging and relatable.
coherence cohesion
There are clear main points in each paragraph, which helps support your overall argument.
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