Some people think young people should be free to choose their job, while others believe that they should be realistic and think about their future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Choosing a
career
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is one of the most critical
decision
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decisions
show examples
for young
people
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.
While
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some believe that young
people
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should choose
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job
Correct article usage
a job
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considering the reality and future
prospection
Replace the word
prospects
show examples
, others
argure
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argue
argued
that the young generation
need
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needs
show examples
to be free and follow their passion. In my opinion, personal interests should be the major factor when making a
career
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choice. On the one hand, those who advocate for a realistic approach
argures
Correct your spelling
argues
argue
that
career
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choices based on reality would benefit young individuals
on
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in
show examples
their personal financial status. To be more specific, since young
adult
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adults
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often do not have much
saving
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savings
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, young
people
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are more likely to rely more on
job
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salaries.
Consequently
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, finding a
job
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considering income and future
prospection
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prospects
show examples
will largely avoid personal financial difficulties. To illustrate, if a young adult
choose
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chooses
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to study computer science and work for a technology company,
such
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as Meta or Tesla, because these companies often offer a high salary and even shares of it, they will lead a wealthy life even if they had no saving before they find
this
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job
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.
In contrast
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, if young individuals chose their jobs following their interests,
such
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as artist or writer, they would work with a low salary, probably leading to financial difficulties if they have little
saving
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savings
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.
On the other hand
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, I would agree with the opinion of the free work choice supporters that developing
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career
Correct article usage
a career
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based on passion would assist young
people
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to discover their potential. The young generation educated by
traditional
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the traditional
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education system might not know what they are good at. They need to try different kinds of jobs to see which ability they
,
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have, such
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such
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as physical strength or mental agility, logic or creativity. Once they discover what they are good at, they will quickly excel in that field.
Moreover
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, by fully developing their potential, they will feel
fullfilled
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fulfilled
not only because of a satisfied income
,
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apply
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but
also
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collegues
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colleagues
'
respection
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respect
respective
, social status and even self-actualization.
Therefore
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, I hold
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this
Correct determiner usage
the
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opinion that the young generation should follow their interests when choosing jobs to find their talent. In conclusion,
while
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many believe that young adults should choose a
career
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based on realistic future
prospection
Replace the word
prospects
show examples
, I agree with the idea that young
people
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should follow their passion when
buiding
Correct your spelling
building
their careers to develop their potential.
Submitted by dawn140140140140 on

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task achievement
Ensure that all points are consistently elaborated with examples. For instance, the point about young people relying on job salaries could include broader examples beyond high-paying tech jobs.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing clearer transitions between the contrasting viewpoints to enhance the flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance that personal interests should be prioritized when choosing a career, which aligns well with the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively contrasts two distinct viewpoints regarding career choice: realistic approaches and passion-driven decisions.
task achievement
Use of specific examples, such as references to companies like Meta and Tesla, which strengthens the argument about salary considerations in career choices.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career trajectory
  • job satisfaction
  • employment prospects
  • financial stability
  • job security
  • economically viable
  • harnessing potential
  • labor market
  • vocational guidance
  • real-world demands
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