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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country
After spreading immigration flow recently, some
people
 believe that experts
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 should be required to
served
Wrong verb form
serve
show examples
 to compensate
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 welfare
that gave
Wrong verb form
given
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 their
country
.
On the other hand
, others believe that specialists should be free to
work
 or live in foreign
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
instead
 of staying in their motherland. in
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 the two different aspects will be discussed with reasons and facts On the one hand, many
people
 believe that being in your
country
 and
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 for them
assist
Correct subject-verb agreement
assists
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your
country
 to improve the economy and welfare which is helpful for the
government
 which
being
Change the form of the verb
is
show examples
 able to focus on
another issue
Fix the agreement mistake
other issues
show examples
 of the
country
,
Furthermore
, they believe that educated
people
 and manpower should compensate any
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 that
country
 and
government
 had done.
For instance
, In
iran
Change the capitalization
Iran
show examples
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 pay
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
show examples
tutions
Correct your spelling
tuition
 and
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
full-fund
Replace the word
full funding
show examples
 to most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students,
However
, students should
work
 for
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 as long as they study in those determined universities.
As a consequence
,
this
 group have an opinion
to stay
Change preposition
that staying
show examples
 in the
country
 and
assist
Wrong verb form
assisting
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
improve
Replace the word
improvement
show examples
 will be more efficient and useful rather than
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
position
Add an article
a position
show examples
 in another
country
.
On the other hand
, another part of society
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
 that everybody
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 free to
work
 wherever they want. Not only making welfare and comfort can be so vital for
this
 opinion, But
also
, finding better
oportunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 and
try
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
 to promote in career can be very crucial.
For example
, some
Undergraduated
Correct your spelling
Undergraduate
people
 prefer to apply to well-known universities to have a chance to
work
 with modern
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 and keep in touch with cutting-edge knowledge. Ultimately, for
this
 part of
society
Add a comma
society,
show examples
 it will be more comprehensible to find an enormous position in foreign and uplift their personal life. To sum it up,
Due to
 these reasons that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 mentioned before, From my point of view it would be more logical for
people
 to stay in their
country
 to enhance their
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 situation and assist to
government
 to have a better position to deal with
another issues
Replace the adjective
another issue
other issues
show examples
.
Submitted by mr.sadeghnezhadengineer on

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coherence cohesion
Focus on clarifying ideas and providing clear transitions between paragraphs.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and explanations to support your points.
task achievement
Ensure you thoroughly analyze both perspectives in a balanced manner.
task achievement
You have outlined both sides of the argument effectively, presenting a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You showed an understanding of the topic with relevant points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
What to do next:
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