Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country

In some

individuals

Change noun form

individual's

individuals'

show examples

opinion, doctors and engineers have to stay in their hometown after finishing their studies

while

others believe that they can work in other countries as they wish.

Although

there's always a vast disagreement, I will discuss both side's points of view in

this

essay. First of all, professionals

such

as doctors and engineers have tried so hard to achieve what they have today.

long

Capitalize word

Long

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hours of studying, lack of sleep and spending long hours in laboratories or hospitals are just small examples of the difficulties they all have been through. as a person who has experienced only four years of studying, I would contend that they must have the choice to live wherever their profession is valued enough.

further

Rephrase

Furthermore

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and even more importantly, as the educational system is improving all over the world, going to

the

Correct article usage

apply

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university is no longer a dream to the majority of people and more students tend to continue their studies. meanwhile, the healthcare system is not improving

Change preposition

show examples

such

speed. so the number of graduates increases in a country

while

there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

no proper work opportunities.

this

situation would leave them no other choice

rather

Correct your spelling

other

show examples

than immigration. Admittedly, it is an undeniable fact that every community needs

it's

Replace the word

its

show examples

own workforce in order to improve in different aspects. the existing problems in every society must be worked out in order to attract

it's

Replace the word

its

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own people and change their minds about leaving their land By way of conclusion, l once again reaffirm my position that every human being,

weather

Correct your spelling

whether

show examples

with professional skills or not, should feel free to work and live where they want. the governments are the ones to blame for the country's situation which leads to high rates of immigration after all.

Submitted by mr.sadeghnezhadengineer on Wed Oct 16 2024

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task achievement

Try to develop your ideas more comprehensively. Instead of listing several points briefly, choose a few and elaborate on them in depth. This will help enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. This will improve the logical flow of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

task achievement

Use more specific examples to support your points. Examples drawn from personal experience, statistical data, or real-world scenarios can strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Conclude the essay by summarizing the main points discussed and reiterating your personal opinion. This will enhance the overall structure and provide a clear ending.

task achievement

The essay provides a balanced discussion by covering both sides of the argument, fulfilling the task requirement effectively.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear introduction and conclusion that frames the discussion, which is essential for a coherent essay structure.

task achievement

The essay shows an understanding of the topic and attempts to engage with the question in a thoughtful manner.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

290 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

professionals
doctors
engineers
required
training
home country
cultural
linguistic
advantages
economic impact
free
another country
globalization
international collaboration
improving
skills
knowledge
experience
opinion

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