IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some feel that school uniforms make schools safer for students, create a "level playing field" that reduces socioeconomic disparities and encourage children to focus on their studies rather than their clothes. Others say school uniforms infringe upon students' right to express their individuality, have no positive effect on behavior and academic achievement. Discuss both sides & give your opinion.

Many people believe that all
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 should wear the same
uniform
Use synonyms
 to make all
students
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same level,and
also
Linking Words
 let them focus on their studies not
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
clothes
Use synonyms
 and different styles,
while
Linking Words
 others claim that let them wear what they want, to express their character, as they feel that will not effect on their academic achievement.
However
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both perspectives and provide my own opinion. On the one hand,
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 all
students
Use synonyms
 wear the same
clothes
Use synonyms
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them feel there is no difference
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their background, as at the same
school
Use synonyms
 it will be wealthy and poor kids, and that may
make
Verb problem
put
show examples
 them under
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pressure to have
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
expensive
brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
show examples
Use synonyms
clothes
Change preposition
of clothes
show examples
. That
also
Linking Words
 can make
impact
Add an article
an impact
show examples
 on
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 way in their grades.
For example
Linking Words
,
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 South
Korea
Correct your spelling
Korean
show examples
 schools there is
rule
Add an article
a rule
the rule
show examples
 that all
students
Use synonyms
 must have the same
uniform
Use synonyms
, as they believe it will have
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
 on their education.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I firmly support the
idea
Use synonyms
 that
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 must be
rule
Correct article usage
a rule
show examples
 that
include
Change the verb form
includes
show examples
 everyone
wear
Wrong verb form
wearing
show examples
Use synonyms
uniform
Add an article
a uniform
the uniform
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
let
Wrong verb form
letting
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 various
clothes
Use synonyms
 to discover their style and express
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their personality,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be a good
idea
Use synonyms
, But
school
Use synonyms
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 a perfect place for it, as it is a place
were
Correct your spelling
where
show examples
 they go the have
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
 and learn.
Use synonyms
School
Fix the agreement mistake
Schools
show examples
 can make an open day to let
students
Use synonyms
 wear as they want.
For example
Linking Words
,
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 my
school
Use synonyms
 we all wear
Use synonyms
uniform
Add an article
a uniform
the uniform
show examples
, but we have one day every
semeseter
Correct your spelling
semester
 to wear
clothe
Correct subject-verb agreement
clothes
show examples
 that we want, I
loved
Wrong verb form
love
show examples
this
Linking Words
idea
Use synonyms
, as we all show each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
 our style. In conclusion, both perspectives can have advantages and
disadavtages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
, but I think that
idea
Use synonyms
 that
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 the same uniforms is less harmful than
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
, as we need to put
Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 attention on their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.

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task achievement
Ensure your essay addresses both sides of the argument more equally. Spend a bit more time exploring both the pros and cons of allowing students to wear casual clothing.
coherence cohesion
Use more transitions to strengthen the cohesion between your ideas. Try to connect each paragraph to the next with linking words or phrases.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports and develops the main points you are presenting.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets up the topic and states your intentions to discuss both perspectives and give an opinion.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion pulls together the main ideas presented in the essay and ends with a clear opinion.
supported main points
You provided an example from South Korea to support your argument about the impact of uniforms, which helps to make your point more compelling.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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