IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The maps illustrate how the particular school has developed from 1985 to these days.

The maps illustrate how the particular school has developed from 1985 to these days.
#maps #school
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The maps illustrate changes
in particular
Linking Words
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 from 1985 till these days.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
Use synonyms
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 has been developed properly,
for providing
Change preposition
to provide
show examples
best
Correct article usage
the best
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 educational cater for
students
Use synonyms
 and
best
Correct article usage
the best
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 facilities for teachers.
Also
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
Use synonyms
school's
Correct article usage
the school's
show examples
 population has been increasing significantly. Looking at the details, in 1995
school
Use synonyms
 was
devided
Correct your spelling
divided
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 7 sectors.
Where
Rephrase
apply
show examples
,
in
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the
top
Add a comma
top,
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 there was
place
Add an article
a place
the place
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 where
students
Use synonyms
can
Wrong verb form
could
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 enter and exit, as through long path
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 lead to the playground for
students
Use synonyms
 as
source
Add an article
a source
show examples
 of entertainment and relaxation, after
school
Use synonyms
curicullas
Correct your spelling
curricula
. On the left side, there was
office
Correct article usage
an office
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, library and classroom, where
students
Use synonyms
 could engage in
Add an article
the lesson
show examples
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
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.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 there was
small
Add an article
a small
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 park there,
whereas
Linking Words
 the biggest one
located
Add a missing verb
was located
show examples
 near the entrance and exit. On the right hand, classrooms
was
Change the verb form
were
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 located, with additional (2 stores). Turning to the current
school
Use synonyms
 condition,
Add an article
the
show examples
long path was eliminated,
instead
Linking Words
 classroom has been extinguished and extra rooms like
, Learning
Correct your spelling
a learning
 resource centre with
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
 room have been
adding
Wrong verb form
added
show examples
.
Play ground
Correct your spelling
Playground
show examples
also
Linking Words
 has been diminishing , whilst extra classroom has added and it's 2 stores club, now increased to the 3.
Additionally
Linking Words
, facilities like
pool
Correct article usage
a pool
show examples
 and fitness centre
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been
constructing
Wrong verb form
constructed
show examples
,
whereas
Linking Words
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
 is almost
stand
Verb problem
apply
show examples
unchanged.
Submitted by halilova039 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, whereas".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 88%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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