Some people believe that the government should make laws regarding nutrition and healthy lifestyle, while others think that it is a matter of personal responsibility. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Well in
this
modern
ear
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era
show examples
,
everyone
should take care of
thier
Correct your spelling
their
health and have proper nutrition in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Some masses believe that the
government
should encourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals and make laws for the intake
proper
Change preposition
of proper
show examples
protien
Correct your spelling
protein
and
healthy
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a healthy
show examples
lifestyle.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
some people
thinks
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think
show examples
that
its
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it's
it is
show examples
up to
thier
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their
own
prefrences
Correct your spelling
preferences
. In
this
upcoming
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essay
eassay
Add a comma
eassay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will discuss both
sides
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side's
sides'
show examples
view on my behalf. To commence with,
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
should arrange some extra funds for the public so they can buy
those nutrition product
Change the determiner
that nutrition product
those nutrition products
show examples
and use them in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Moreover
, media plays a vital role in
this
world now.
Everyone
is connect
Change the verb form
is connected
is connecting
show examples
with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social sites in
thier
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their
daily
life
in the manner of
thier
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their
work or studies. The
government
should encourage media channels to promote healthy
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
on
thier
Correct your spelling
their
channels twice a day. On the
flipside
Correct your spelling
flip side
show examples
, other people believe that
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
on
thier
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their
own. They want nobody to tell or
convience
Correct your spelling
convince
convenience
them to follow rules regarding
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
dailylife
Correct your spelling
daily life
. Not
everyone
has the same income and
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
, some people can not afford
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
nutrition diet and have a healthy lifestyle. They are managing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
low income and run
thier
Correct your spelling
their
family expenses. Moving ahead, they
don
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
not have extra time for exercises.
Overall
,
according to
me the
government
and
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
both should come
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
and solve
this
issue and help
everyone
to have
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
life
. For that
government
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the government
show examples
should arrange some camps 3 times
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a year so
low wage
Add a hyphen
low-wage
show examples
workers can go and have those
protien
Correct your spelling
protein
products and use them in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
daylife
Correct your spelling
daily life
show examples
and be healthy.
Submitted by karnmalhotra234 on

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task achievement
To enhance your task response, ensure you thoroughly cover all parts of the question with well-developed ideas and examples. For instance, when discussing why some people believe it's a personal responsibility, delve into psychological or societal reasons and support these with examples.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen coherence and cohesion by using clear transition words and phrases that logically link your ideas and paragraphs. This will guide your reader through your essay and improve the overall flow.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion by addressing both perspectives on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively present, which provides a clear framework for the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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