IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The graph showes the consumptions of three spreads from 1981 to 2007

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The line graph
provide
Change the verb form
provides
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 information about expenditure of margarine, low fat and reduced spreads and butter over a period of 25 years. The amount of consumption given by a
gram
Use synonyms
Overall
Linking Words
 , butter spread was by far the most important mean of consumers in the early years and it had a downward trend ,
while
Linking Words
 low fat had an upward trend. Margarine showed a fluctuation over the given period . Regarding to butter spread graph , it
begin
Wrong verb form
began
show examples
 at 140
Use synonyms
gram
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
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 and saw a rise
by
Change preposition
of
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 around 20
Use synonyms
gram
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
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,hitting the highest point at 160
Use synonyms
gram
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
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 in 1986 .After 1986 it experienced a decline significantly until reaching
at
Change preposition
apply
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around 50 in the
last
Linking Words
 year. In terms of the rest of
two
Correct article usage
the two
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kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
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 of spreads ,
Margraine
Correct article usage
the Margraine
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 line saw
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
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fluctuation
Change to a plural noun
fluctuations
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, starting from 90
Use synonyms
gram
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
show examples
 in 1986 and followed by a
gently
Change the word
gentle
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 decrease , the graph
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
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 to rise and fall until the end of the period at 40
Use synonyms
gram
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
show examples
 in 2007 . Looking specifically at
low
Correct article usage
the low
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fat’s
Change noun form
fat
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 line we can see that
this
Linking Words
 type of spread
starts
Wrong verb form
started
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 in 1996 with less than 20
Use synonyms
gram
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
show examples
 and had a sharp increasing being at around 70 in 2007 .

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coherence cohesion
Ensure to use consistent tense throughout the essay for clarity and coherence. For instance, avoid mixing past and present forms like 'begin' and 'experienced'.
coherence cohesion
Include an overall summary or conclusion to succinctly wrap up your analysis, giving the essay a definitive ending.
task achievement
Focus on providing more specific examples or data points to strongly support each main point in your analysis. This strengthens the credibility and depth of the task response.
task achievement
Good attempt at detailing the trends of each spread separately, demonstrating understanding of the task's requirements.
task achievement
Successfully identifies the general trends such as 'downward trend' for butter and 'upward trend' for low fat spreads, establishing a relevant and focused task response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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