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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#results #survey #people #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The chart illustrates vital information about
people
Use synonyms
 who bought
coffee
Use synonyms
 and
tea
Use synonyms
 in 5 different Australian cities.
This
Linking Words
 unit is measured in
percentage
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the graph clearly shows that the ratio of
people
Use synonyms
 who went to a cafe for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 28 days was the highest of all
four
Use synonyms
 cities:
Sydney
Use synonyms
, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, Melbourne,
Sydney
Use synonyms
, and Hobart are all approximately the same
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who went to a cafe for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
4
weeks
Use synonyms
 ago.
However
Linking Words
, there is a slight difference in the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
four
Use synonyms
weeks
Use synonyms
. From what is recorded,
Sydney
Use synonyms
 stands for 45% and Melbourne a bit higher than that at 48%.
Whereas
Linking Words
, there is a massively growing ratio in Hobart City, about 54%.
Whereas
Linking Words
 the
people
Use synonyms
 who
purchase
Wrong verb form
purchased
show examples
 fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the past month,
Sydney
Use synonyms
 and Melbourne towns are
similarly
Linking Words
 in the same
percentage
Use synonyms
, a bit below 40 per cent. The residents in the Adelaide and Brisbane towns share the same ratio of
people
Use synonyms
 who bought instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 and attended a cafe for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
 in month before .
Along with
Linking Words
 residents who purchased fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 and went for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
 in the terminal for
four
Use synonyms
weeks
Use synonyms
, they have the same
percentage
Use synonyms
 of 50%.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
 stand for a bit below 30% of the humans who bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
four
Use synonyms
weeks
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ferasmirza11 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, whereas".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, coffee, tea, percentage, four, sydney, weeks with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stands" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey
  • coffee
  • tea
  • buying habits
  • drinking habits
  • Australian cities
  • consumption
  • respondents
  • regular
  • participants
  • levels
  • observed
  • popular
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