IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be rewuired to work in the country where they did their trainig. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country #trainig
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It is true that in
this
 day and age, opinion is divided over whether
protessional
Correct your spelling
professional
worker
Change the noun form
workers
show examples
,
such
 as
healthcares
Correct your spelling
healthcare
 and engineers ought to
work
 in the
country
 where they trained or they can
work
 everywhere they hope. In
this
 essay, I will look at both sides of
this
 debate
as well as
 offer my point of view. Turning first of all to the argument in
favoar
Correct your spelling
favour
 of
this
 idea, it goes without saying that professional
worters
Correct your spelling
workers
writers
 should
work
 in the
country
 where they grow
have
Add the particle
to have
show examples
 more benefit. When serious problems happen, they can solve them quickly with their mother tongue.
Moreover
,
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
 especially
ductors
Correct your spelling
doctors
show examples
 should
work
 in the
county
Correct your spelling
country
show examples
 where they live
due to
 the fact that countries train doctors to meet the healthcare needs of their own populations. If many doctors leave for other countries, it can lead to shortages in medical
profesionals
Correct your spelling
professionals
, which negatively impacts
pablic
Correct your spelling
public
 health. As far as the other side of
this
 debate is concerned, it is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
generally acknowledged that professionals can choose countries
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 they
had
Verb problem
would
show examples
 like to
work
. Doctors, like any other professionals, should have the right to choose where they
work
, Restricting the
country
 they
work
,
it
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 may seek their freedom.
In addition
, working in
global
Correct article usage
a global
show examples
 place can lead to
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 better
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 and
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 skills and
techique
Correct your spelling
technology
. By way of conclusion. from the examples and ideas
abover
Correct your spelling
above
 it can be seen that there are valid
argument
Fix the agreement mistake
arguments
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 both sides of
this
 debate.
However
. I am of the opinion that in the grand scheme of things,
professionas
Correct your spelling
professionals
professional
hove
Correct your spelling
have
show examples
freedom
Correct article usage
the freedom
show examples
 to choose the
country
 they want.
On the other hand
 from the perspective of the
indivisual
Correct your spelling
individual
country
's technical capabilities, working in the
country
 where thy
train
Replace the word
training
show examples
 is more
berefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
.
Therefore
, I insist that
profesiarol
Correct your spelling
professional
 workers ought to
work
 in the
country
 they trained.
Submitted by yusei.nakano on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear structure with well-organized paragraphs. This will improve logical flow.
task achievement
Try to use more specific examples to support your main points, which will make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are fully developed in each paragraph, avoiding vague or broad statements.
general
Work on minimizing small grammatical and spelling mistakes to enhance readability.
task achievement
The essay covers both viewpoints as required, which is a key aspect of the task.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, providing a frame for your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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