the pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The diagrams illustrate the average household expenditures in a country

Change preposition

between

show examples

1950 and 2010 represented in percent. In six decades, housing expenses have greatly reduced,

while

Linking Words

other aspects

such

Linking Words

as food, transportation, health, and other categories

rise

Wrong verb form

have risen

show examples

up significantly.

However

Linking Words

, there is a slight decrease in education. As clearly portrayed, housing allocation greatly lowered before which dominated the total expenditure in 1950, reached up to over 70%, in 2010, it was only one-third of its prior percentage (22%).

On the other hand

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

year, the budget for food led

all

Change preposition

to all

show examples

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of household expenses, upsurging to 34%, thrice from what it was in 1950.

Moreover

Linking Words

, there

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

also

Linking Words

notable rises about four times in transportation and category for other

expense

Fix the agreement mistake

expenses

show examples

, whose previous percentages in 1950 were 3.3% and 4.4% respectively, boosted up to 14% and 19.2% respectively in 2010.

Additionally

Linking Words

health

Correct article usage

the health

show examples

budget

rose

Verb problem

apply

show examples

doubled in 2010, reaching up to 4.5%. Meanwhile, education expenditure declined slightly, from 6.6% to 6.3%.

ru.kabiru.biruThu Oct 17 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.

▼

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

160 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In recent times, many people are making the decision to leave alone.what are the causes of this? Does iit have positive or negative impact on society
These days, many people decide to live alone. The causes of this are people want to live independently, and living alone allows them to do whatever they like. I personally believe that living alone is a positive development because it makes people strong humans and enhances their decision-making skills.
5
band
some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Disscuss both views and give your opinion
The generational phenomenon is concerned with the youth and senior citizens in society. In many cultures, it often held that older people play a more essential role than younger people and vice versa. I really believe that every generation has its own set of ideals. I will provide my own perspective on this issue in this article.
5.5
band
Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can government take to discourage people from using their cars?
Owners of cars have risen so fast during the last three decades and it has caused serious vehicle congestion. The government should take the necessary steps to tackle this burning status.
4
band
Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation , such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.
There are different opinions regarding bad situations in life, while some people tolerate bad situation in their life, other people never accept it and their constant work is a way to overcome unsatisfactory situations of their life. In one hand, some people think they are not able to change the situation of life. They strongly believe that fate is inevitable. Therefore, they never fight against their undesirable life flow; because they think misery and adversity is their share of life. Even though, this group of humankind presume thanking God is essential in this bad situation. Psychologist assume them as disabled people who put the weight of their unsatisfactory on the fate shoulders. On the other hand, there are people who never accept bad situations because they trust on themselves as humankind who is equipped with intellectual abilities. Whenever they intend to use their mental wealth, it is ready to utilize for them. As a result, they can solve all of the problems in their lif...
5
band
Some people believe that children should receive compulsory education at public schools while others prefer private schools. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is often argued that giving kids the freedom to make decisions for things that directly affect them is not a wise choice as it makes them more self-centered; however, others disagree and opine that it can help them to make better decisions in future. This essay agrees that children are not rational enough to make their own decisions and allowing them to do so makes them stubborn.

the pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010

In recent times, many people are making the decision to leave alone.what are the causes of this? Does iit have positive or negative impact on society

some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Disscuss both views and give your opinion

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can government take to discourage people from using their cars?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation , such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that children should receive compulsory education at public schools while others prefer private schools. Discuss both views and give your opinion.