IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that a person improves intellectual skills better when doing group activities. To what extent do you agree? Use specific details and examples to explain your view

It is widely believed that
individuals
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' intellectual capacity expands when they collaborate with a team or
group
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. To prove
this
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 theory, several studies have been conducted, concluding that an effective
group
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 can impact an individual's intelligence. I completely agree with
this
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 notion and the ground for my perspective shall be discussed in
this
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 essay.
To begin
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 with, it has been observed in school that students have different preferences in subjects, mainly
due to
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 their interest in that particular field. When these students expertised in different areas of subjects are put together in a study
group
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, they can teach one another efficiently.
In other words
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, the student who is proficient in maths but weak in English is able to learn from the student who is fluent in English and teach maths in return.
Thus
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, groups help
individuals
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 to come together and teach each other ultimately, increasing the intellectual skills of one another.
Secondly
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, When
individuals
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 participate in
group
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 activities they can obtain new information or feedback from their peers to improve their weaknesses.
For instance
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, if an individual is participating in a writing
group
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 but has a poor command of English Grammar, their peers could give an individual constructive feedback.
This
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 information about poor grammar would not be realized by an individual in isolation;
however
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, being a part of a team was able to make an individual self-aware.
Consequently
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, a self-aware individual can improve their skills in a
group
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thus
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, proving that a
group
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 can help an individual to refine their mental abilities. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the notion that
group
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 activities improve intellectual abilities. The
group
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 or a team fosters an environment where
individuals
Use synonyms
 are able to refine their skills and broaden their knowledge.

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task achievement
Make sure to use clear examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and help the reader understand your perspective better.
coherence and cohesion
Use transition words between ideas to make your writing flow better. This will help connect your thoughts more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and the supporting sentences relate directly to it. This will enhance your logical structure.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your viewpoint and sets up your argument well.
task achievement
The examples you provided show good understanding of how group activities can improve skills.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • intellectual skills
  • group activities
  • collaborative learning
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • communication
  • interpersonal skills
  • diverse perspectives
  • creativity
  • individual study
  • personal reflection
  • autonomy
  • learning styles
  • approaches
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