Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

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The

music

industry has been growing drastically over the years. It is thought by some

people

that

music

is a way of bringing

people

of various

cultures

and ages together. In my opinion, I completely agree with

this

statement and I will be discussing the reasons in

this

essay.

Firstly

music

comes in different genres, whether it is classical, pop or hip hop,

everyone

can enjoy it. The variety of

music

available to society allows

people

of different ages and

cultures

to connect as individuals may have the same interest in

music

For instance

, someone who enjoys listening to classical

music

may be able to share their favourite tunes with other individuals of similar interests, fostering a new friendship and stronger bonds.

In addition

, we use

music

to express our feelings,

therefore

, some songs can help us communicate how we feel with each other, whenever we feel overwhelmed.

Moreover

, every culture has a unique type of

music

that they listen to or use for cultural festivals.

For example

, I come from a very diverse and multicultural country. Throughout the year, we celebrate various religious and cultural festivities and every event plays different tunes, depending on what is being celebrated. These festivities encompass dancing which brings

everyone

together. Through

this

everyone

is able to gain knowledge and understand the

cultures

that are unfamiliar to them. In conclusion, I agree that

music

is a way of bringing

everyone

together

due to

the connection that

people

may find with each other through

music

. It

also

allows us to learn about new

cultures

, allowing us to build more friendships in the process.

Submitted by d.adeliasong on Thu Oct 17 2024

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task achievement

Consider further developing the argument for diversity in music and how it enables cross-cultural understanding, possibly with more diverse examples. This will enhance the depth of your response.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph systematically links back to the main argument. Reinforcing these links can enhance the logical flow and strengthen your position.

introduction conclusion present

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the argument effectively.

relevant specific examples

You have included relevant and specific examples that support your points well.

clear comprehensive ideas

The ideas presented are clear and comprehensive, showing a strong understanding of the topic.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

a lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main course of income. unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctry. what are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world? do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?

Some young people look forward to a year of travelling, a gap year, before they work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others this is an expensive waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries today the retirement age from work has been raised. Do the advantages of raising the retirement age outweigh the disadvantages?

In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the cause of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It’s not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. Do you agree or disagree?

It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?