Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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The

music

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industry has been growing drastically over the years. It is thought by some

people

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that

music

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is a way of bringing

people

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of various

cultures

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and ages together. In my opinion, I completely agree with

this

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statement and I will be discussing the reasons in

this

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essay.

Firstly

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music

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comes in different genres, whether it is classical, pop or hip hop,

everyone

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can enjoy it. The variety of

music

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available to society allows

people

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of different ages and

cultures

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to connect as individuals may have the same interest in

music

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For instance

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, someone who enjoys listening to classical

music

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may be able to share their favourite tunes with other individuals of similar interests, fostering a new friendship and stronger bonds.

In addition

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, we use

music

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to express our feelings,

therefore

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, some songs can help us communicate how we feel with each other, whenever we feel overwhelmed.

Moreover

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, every culture has a unique type of

music

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that they listen to or use for cultural festivals.

For example

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, I come from a very diverse and multicultural country. Throughout the year, we celebrate various religious and cultural festivities and every event plays different tunes, depending on what is being celebrated. These festivities encompass dancing which brings

everyone

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together. Through

this

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everyone

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is able to gain knowledge and understand the

cultures

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that are unfamiliar to them. In conclusion, I agree that

music

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is a way of bringing

everyone

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together

due to

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the connection that

people

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may find with each other through

music

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. It

also

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allows us to learn about new

cultures

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, allowing us to build more friendships in the process.

d.adeliasongThu Oct 17 2024

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task achievement

Consider further developing the argument for diversity in music and how it enables cross-cultural understanding, possibly with more diverse examples. This will enhance the depth of your response.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph systematically links back to the main argument. Reinforcing these links can enhance the logical flow and strengthen your position.

introduction conclusion present

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the argument effectively.

relevant specific examples

You have included relevant and specific examples that support your points well.

clear comprehensive ideas

The ideas presented are clear and comprehensive, showing a strong understanding of the topic.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that air travel should be restricted because it causes environment pollution. How far do you agree or disagree?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many criminals commit more crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

In many countries, the number of people suffering from stress is increasing. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to tackle it? #countries #people #stress #measures

Shoppers have too much choice, from chocolate bars to jeans.' What, in your opinion, are the advantages and disadvantages of having many things to choose from?