Some people believe that Watching a TV is beneficial for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

In today's world,
television
programs developing rapidly. Some people argue that
watchin
Correct your spelling
watching
watchin'
TV can be beneficial for
children
, others believe it has more harmful effects. On the one hand, it can offer educational and developmental benefits when it
used
Add a missing verb
is used
show examples
in
orderly
Correct article usage
an orderly
show examples
. Shows about science, culture, nature,
knowledge
Correct word choice
and knowledge
show examples
can expand
children
's overview.
For instance
, educational series can introduce
children
to accept new ideas and concepts.
Secondly
,
television
can help
children
develop social skills and a better understanding of the world if the content is positive and beneficial. Programs that
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
themes
such
as friendship, honesty, and empathy can serve as positive role models for
children
.
On the other hand
, there are significant negative impacts associated with
television
viewing. staring at the screen too much can negatively impact
children
's physical health, leading to issues
such
as poor eyesight, obesity
due to
lack of physical activity, and disrupted sleep patterns.
Moreover
, many TV shows contain
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and aggression
show examples
aggression
Replace the word
aggressive
show examples
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
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that can adversely affect a child's emotional and psychological development.
In addition
, it can distract
children
from studying,
playing
Correct word choice
and playing
show examples
outside, which are crucial for their
overall
development. In conclusion, on
children
the impact of
television
is multifaceted.
While
it can offer educational and developmental benefits when used appropriately,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
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it
also
carries risks if not monitored carefully. I believe that
television
can be beneficial for
children
if it is used in
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
control.By managing screen time, parents can help their
children
benefit from
television
while
reducing its potential downsides.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Work on providing more relevant and specific examples to enhance your arguments. This will make your points more convincing and robust.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay. Ensure topics and ideas transition smoothly from one paragraph to another to aid reader comprehension.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the question adequately and provides a balanced view on the topic, discussing both positive and negative aspects of watching TV for children.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which makes your essay easy to follow.
task achievement
Your main ideas are clear and are presented consistently throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Negative effects
  • Physical health
  • Mental health
  • Excessive
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Obesity
  • Attention span
  • Cognitive development
  • Inappropriate
  • Violence
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Educational
  • Informative
  • Knowledge
  • Learning abilities
  • Diverse cultures
  • Languages
  • Experiences
  • Values
  • Life lessons
  • Bonding
  • Moderation
  • Parental guidance
  • Entertainment benefits
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