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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

in the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #vehicles #passengers
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All coaches, cars and other
transport
 drivers will be replaced by robots or artificial intelligence in the near future.
Although
 it will be beneficial regarding time consumption and discipline, it may be not a very practical way for transporting
due to
 some reasons. On the advantages side, it is a very good idea to have driverless
transport
. Because, people have human factors, which may interfere with work or even lead to some catastrophic situations.
For example
, new drivers may have some mistakes,
while
 they are driving, like riding the truck very slow or too fast, and passengers will suffer from them. It is regarding not only new drivers, but every time can happen
such
 situations
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 when the driver is not concentrated at work.
Therefore
, AI will be a more flexible and depositary way for passengers.
However
,
on the other hand
, if we are talking about disadvantages, it can be a harmful idea. The main reason for
this
 is that the employers could lose their jobs and it will not be so safe.
For example
, driverless
transport
 will work by
electro city
Add a hyphen
electro-city
show examples
 and depend on other materials,
nevertheless
, if
electro
Correct your spelling
electro-city
show examples
 city
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
available, or maybe there are several problems with stations or even with
transport
, the robot, which is controlling the
transport
 will not be able to fix up and solve these issues,
instead
, it will turn off and people will not know what to do.
Therefore
 it will be much
safety
Replace the word
safer
show examples
 and practical if the
transport
 is controlled by humans hand, who
knows
Correct subject-verb agreement
know
show examples
 what to do in emergency situations. In conclusion, in my point of view, the advantages do not outweigh the negative sides, because AI lacks individual ideas compared with humans, who will be able to act even if all systems are out of control.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Try to develop your points more fully to provide a complete response to the task. Include more specific examples and explanations to support your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are presented in a clear and comprehensive manner. This might involve elaborating on your points a little more and adding detailed evidence or examples.
coherence cohesion
Aim for a clearer logical structure in your arguments. Consider using more linking words to guide the reader through your points seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, with an introduction and conclusion. This structure helps in presenting ideas effectively and provides a nice closure for your discussion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are generally supported by examples and explanations. This adds depth to your argument and makes your points more convincing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • driverless vehicles
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • increased safety
  • reduced traffic congestion
  • improved efficiency
  • accessibility
  • disabled
  • elderly
  • job displacement
  • privacy concerns
What to do next:
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