One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy

It is true that improving medical

care

means that

people

are living longer and their life expectations are increasing

day

. In

this

essay, I will discuss both advantages and disadvantages.

On the other hand

, there are some advantages. Modern technologies are blessing us. It is a part of our life. Without it,

people

can not think a single

day

First,

a major point of modern technology is improving our medical

care

;

for

this

reason,

people

are living longer.

For example

, always medical scientists experiment

Change preposition

with

show examples

new

medicine

Fix the agreement mistake

medicines

show examples

so that they can discover new

medicine

Fix the agreement mistake

medicines

show examples

and save the population from dangerous

diseases

Second,

people

are educated; they know how to improve medical

services

However

people

believe

Change preposition

show examples

modern technology and they depend on it.

Additionally

, a doctor can

easy

Correct your spelling

ease

show examples

patients

Change noun form

patients'

patient's

show examples

life and

doctors

can remove

patients

Change noun form

patients'

patient's

show examples

stress from bad

diseases

. On the

another

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

hand, there are several disadvantages. To bring with some time, medical

services

are more expensive. Poor

people

can not carry their medical costs.

In addition

, the price of

medicine

is so high. So lower

fmaily

Correct your spelling

family

can not afford it. Many times they suffer

diseases

and can not buy

medicine

Medicine

price is going out of control

day

. Poor

people

get no proper treatment, which is why they suffer bad

diseases

Also

, lack of proper training

Change preposition

for

show examples

doctors

. Sometimes

doctors

give

wrong

Correct article usage

the wrong

show examples

services

patients

For

this

reason, many

patients

do not want to

take

Verb problem

get

show examples

services

from

doctors

. In conclusion, there are big advantages that outweigh

disadvantages

Correct article usage

the disadvantages

show examples

. Medical

care

is easy in

patients

Change noun form

patients'

patient's

show examples

lives, and

people

can prevent many bad

diseases

from taking medical

care

. And

people

are living longer, and their expectations are growing

day

Submitted by mdtipusultanakhand on Thu Oct 17 2024

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task achievement

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coherence cohesion

In terms of coherence and cohesion, pay attention to maintaining a smooth transition between paragraphs. Using transitional phrases more effectively will improve the flow of the essay.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction clearly presents the topic and sets up the structure for the essay, which is essential for a strong response.

task achievement

Advantages and disadvantages are addressed, showing a balanced view, which is essential for task completion.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

consequences
improved medical care
life expectancy
advantages
disadvantages
healthcare
quality of life
population
economic burden
elderly
dependency
technology
ethical concerns

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might be the case ? do you think this is a positive or nagative situation ?

Many believe that being good at a sport is a result of talent while others think that it comes from hard work. Discuss both use and give your reason.

Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centres. It is feared that this trend can bring negative influences on the youths and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?