IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. an

The chart shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. an
#percentage #households #accommodation #england #wales #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The chart represents the percentage of bought and rented houses in two different countries
such
 as England and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Wales between 1918 to 2011
Overall
according to
 the
diagram
Add a comma
diagram,
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 there are nine years and eighteen
in
Change preposition
apply
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contrast
rates
 of households.Owned apartments grew significantly,
however
Add a comma
however,
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 rented
accommodition
Correct your spelling
accommodation
accommodations
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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rapid
Change the word
rapidly
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 decreased over the period shown.
In both
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Both
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 counties had some fluctuations. The
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
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 of owned apartments was about 22% in 1918.
Then
, it rose to nearly a third
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 in 1939.
However
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However,
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 in
1953
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1953,
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 the percentage was unchanged. 40% was in 1961.And in 1971 was about 50%,
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 with the rented accommodation. Between 1981 to 2001 the
rates
 gradually increased and became almost 70%. Even the
percents were
Correct your spelling
percentage
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 went up before 2001, in 2011 the rate fault to 63%
Percentage
Correct article usage
The percentage
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 of rented
apartment
Fix the agreement mistake
apartments
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 was almost 80% in 1918.
Than
Replace the word
Then
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 in 1939 and
1953
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1953,
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 they declined to less than 70%.
In
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From
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 1961 to 1981 the
rates
 gradually decreased.
However
Add a comma
However,
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 during the next two
years
Add a comma
years,
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 the
percents
Replace the word
percentages
show examples
 were in
a
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apply
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stability. But in the
end
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end,
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 the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 grew to 35%
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words rates with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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