Some people believe that there are many reasons that can motivate a person to keep working for the same company whereas others say that money is the main reason. Do you agree or disagree
In
this
day and age, there are various job companies that can be the choice for workers; however
, some people
stand with the same company for several reasons for example
: environment, benefits and perks, work
culture and career progression are the main factors that can build trust with employees. Alternatively, few people
just work
with the original office because of salary. This
essay will provide both factors in my view.
To begin
with, nowadays numerous individuals still work
in the original firm with the point mentioned above. Due to
the
fact, job stability and career progression especially reputation and financial outlook are the major motives for deciding whether workers Correct your spelling
this
to
stay or find a new better job. Indeed, everyone needs life and financial constancy, if the company can make them see the path to promotion it will make they have more motivated to stay with the company.
Fix the infinitive
apply
Furthermore
, another point is environment, work
culture, benefits and perks are also
essential factors in the life of working people
. In fact, the environment has an impact on them so much if they have to face pressure and an unfriendly atmosphere it will negative on their mental health and their work
; obviously, no one feels enjoyed in a negative atmosphere some people
have trauma
with this
problem and can't solve it lastly
their quality of work
is not as expected and that capability with they earning. Also
, the utility and privilege of instant, health benefits, bonuses per year, activities and retirement plans for servants are quite significant, it an
encouragement for them.
Add a missing verb
is an
Overall
, in general, money still be principal factor for every worker but the other essence is also
effective with personal resolving, if the worker can find an office that feels like home it will be great for themself also
their companies.Submitted by np.napatping on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and transition smoothly between them.
task achievement
To strengthen task achievement, integrate more supporting details and examples to back up your arguments.
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Clarify the explanation of ideas more thoroughly to enhance comprehensiveness and clarity.
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Aim to give concrete examples when discussing abstract ideas to provide greater depth to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, successfully framing the discussion.
task achievement
The essay addresses both viewpoints, showing an understanding of the nuanced nature of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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